1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
46 1258
2  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
46 1229
3  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
70 1221
4  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
54 1208
5  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
53 1207
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
59 1206
7  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
62 1200
8  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
66 1195
9  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
61 1194
10  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
68 1192
11  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
62 1189
12  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
47 1172
13  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
77 1161
14  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
76 1161
15  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
53 1157
16  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
64 1152
17  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
68 1142
18  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
56 1141
19  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
48 1140
20  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
59 1140
21  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
50 1136
22  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
58 1134
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
83 1134
24  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
44 1127
25  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
68 1119
26  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 1117
27  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
32 1117
28  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
73 1117
29  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
52 1108
30  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
57 1100
31  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
45 1098
32  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
80 1096
33  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
48 1087
34  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
53 1087
35  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
47 1085
36  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
39 1058
37  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
42 1055
38  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
45 1055
39  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
75 1050
40  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
56 1037
41  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
31 1033
42  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
21 1033
43  down FTM
Stu Smith
33 1030
44  same blakes11
Steven Darling
49 1026
45  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
43 1011
46  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
25 1001
47  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
36 990
48  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
49 987
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 949
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
45 818

 

December manager of the month AND manager of the week – Shoelace Untied – Caroline Strong – 477 points AND 83 points

It might be the biggest manager of the month total ever. It’s the biggest monthly prize ever and it goes to Shoelace, who seemingly piled every effort into winning it much like they did with the Buckets Cup last season. To make extra sure, although it wasn’t needed, they played their bench boost in the last gameweek. That did guarantee them of the manager of the week prize and should earn them a bye into the first round proper of the cup. They took an almighty risk with a 16 point hit, particularly as the five players that came in only scored 11 points between them. A poor week for We Are Ayling, Shoelace’s nearest challengers and long time leaders of the December table, meant that net loss didn’t matter either.

 

1  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
83 477
2  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
48 456
3  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
61 452
4  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
52 451
5  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
76 450
6  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
53 449
7  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
59 448
8  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
66 442
9  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
53 440
10  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
54 436

 

Player of the week – Willian – 17 points

A bad week for Hazard holders was exacerbated by the fact that Willian ended as the week’s top scorer whilst the Belgian warmed the bench. Those opting for Hazard as captain might have had better luck elsewhere as he didn’t even take to the field. I doubt that’d be much consolation as Chelsea ripped through a poor Stoke team with Willian claiming a goal and two assists. Hazard is bound to have been in among the points – guaranteed in fact – as Willian’s goal was from the penalty spot.

Bargain of the week – Ryan Fraser – 15 points

Popped up with two goals to claim Bournemouth’s first win since Gameweek 12. Bournemouth aren’t offering much this season. The fact that Asmir Begovic is their top scorer with 69 points says a lot. He comes out on top only by virtue of having played every minute and not by the countless clean sheets he’s kept (4). The goals and assists seem to be being spread around a much changing team. Fraser wasn’t able to follow up this brace due to picking up an injury, but hardly any team have escaped the punishing festive schedule, no matter how hard they’ve tried to rotate, without picking up injuries to key players. Salah, Silva, De Bruyne, Kane, Lukaku and Coutinho are all doubtful for the first fixtures of the new year.

Twat of the week – James McLean – -1 points

McLean is surprisingly low on twat awards over the years. This might be his first. He’s easily one of the most wind-up-able players in the league and likes a tasty meaningless challenge. His crime this time was to come on with 18 minutes of the game remaining, pick up his obligatory yellow, then score an own goal.

Goal of the week – Danny Drinkwater. £35 million apparently. 59s in.

 

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Gameweek 15 results

December 4, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
65 902
2  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
81 881
3  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
49 853
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
47 852
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
36 831
6  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
62 822
7  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
31 820
8  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 819
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
37 816
10  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
65 813
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
40 812
12  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
47 804
13  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
50 803
14  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 797
15  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
40 796
16  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 793
17  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
44 786
18  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
71 779
19  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
51 775
20  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
63 774
21  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
46 773
22  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
58 767
23  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 762
24  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
35 760
25  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
58 758
26  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
50 757
26  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
46 757
28  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
76 756
29  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
40 750
30  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
55 747
31  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
68 745
32  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
47 743
33  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
33 743
34  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
46 743
35  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
54 738
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 736
37  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
33 725
38  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
27 722
39  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
57 714
40  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
41 713
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
53 707
42  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
33 705
43  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
47 700
44  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
34 691
45  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
36 683
46  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
51 669
47  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
39 667
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
52 660
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
38 635
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
32 554

 

Manager of the week – Greenyteamy – Adam Greenwood – 81 points

Greenyteamy’s rise continues. They jumped on Eden Hazard’s return to the Chelsea line up back in gameweek 7. In the seven weeks since gameweek 9 he’s contributed in five – three of them have been double figure scores. This week he picked up 15 points and Greenyteamy had him as captain. A few other Buckets managers followed suit and there has been an increase in the ownership of Chelsea assets, particularly Hazard and Morata. Hornets, at the top of our league, captained Morata. As did Fun Lovren Criminals and Gotta Light in third and fourth. This shift has probably been prompted by the run of winnable fixtures Chelsea have between now and the New Year, as well as the complete unreliability of Lukaku and Kane and the slowing down of the Man City express. It seems City are in a groove now of only being able to win games 2-1 with very late winners, which isn’t good for those with City defenders, or a triple of City attackers. Points are being dropped somewhere. It’s worth noting also that Greenyteamy have achieved this rise up the table having never had Kane in their team. So there you go – you don’t need him. But dare you get rid? There’s a double gameweek just been announced. Spurs play twice in gameweek 22. This might seem like a lifetime away but such is the fixture build up it’s actually only in four weeks. So if you do get rid, the likelihood is you’re only going to want to get him back.

Player of the week – Philippe Coutinho – 18 points

Throwing another midfield spanner in the works, Coutinho’s form looks like it could be on the rise again. It’s been an in and out season dogged by injury and constant rumours of his exit to Barcelona. He’s made four double figure scores all season in just eight gameweek appearances, scoring four, making five and picking up 10 bonus points. He’s almost guaranteed to score something if he plays. Liverpool are the new City. Their goal machine has cranked up a gear since the 4-1 hammering to Spurs seven gameweeks ago. They’ve netted 19 times in the last six. And as well as considering the Chelsea fixtures for the next few weeks it may well be worth looking at Liverpool assets, particularly their front four of Coutinho, Firmino, Mane and, of course, Mohamed Salah. Salah should be a mainstay by now anyway. In among the fixture pile up expect at least three of these four to play and watch the points roll in.

Bargain of the week – Jesse Lingard – 15 points

Lingard has two double figure contributions in the last two weeks but the problem is you’re never quite sure whether he’s going to nail down a permanent starting berth in that team. He seems to be in a constant rotation with the likes of Mata, Martial and Rashford, and could quite easily be dropped for the next match. Form dictates he shouldn’t be but it is the Manc derby, so maybe Mourinho will think more defensively for that game.

Twat of the week – Davinson Sanchez – -2 points

Spurs players are not popular at the moment. The defenders are not keeping clean sheets, or in Sanchez’s case, not keeping clean sheets and getting sent off for throwing vicious elbows into the opponent’s winger’s faces. They’re dropping like flies out of fantasy teams and dropping in value. Where has Dele Alli been this season? Playing well in Europe, that’s where.

Goal of the week – Philippe Coutinho.

Gameweek 12 results

November 21, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
68 738
2  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
74 710
3  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
77 703
4  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
100 688
5  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
79 687
6  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
63 686
7  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
51 684
8  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
56 671
9  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 665
10  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
69 665
11  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
64 663
12  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
78 658
13  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
48 655
14  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
62 651
15  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
50 648
16  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
102 645
17  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
45 642
18  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
79 639
19  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
82 630
20  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
60 626
21  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
53 625
22  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
68 623
23  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
37 620
24  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
43 616
25  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
54 616
26  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
63 614
27  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
33 612
28  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
56 611
29  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
54 605
30  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
54 601
31  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 599
32  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
67 597
33  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
80 596
34  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
75 595
35  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
41 594
36  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
92 592
37  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
64 592
38  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
79 591
39  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
47 586
40  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
50 586
41  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
60 585
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
32 584
43  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
37 579
44  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
62 556
45  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
49 555
46  up blakes11
Steven Darling
87 549
47  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
78 546
48  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
48 532
49  down disco dancer
darren frankland
28 517
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
43 445

 

Manager of the week – Nashton Villa – Jaime Nash – 102 points

Seven clean sheets and 30 goals set up plenty of high scoring opportunities this week and for the first time this season the century barrier was broken. As a result a new highest weekly score target has been set. An honourable mention must go to Greenyteamy who leap 11 places into the top five with a whopping 100 point return. Last week’s highest scorers missed out on two consecutive manager of the week awards by two points. They are however way out in front in the chase for the November manager of the month. The only team with a chance of catching them appear to be this week’s highest scorers, Nashton Villa. Nashton’s 102 points saw them jump 16 places to 16th overall. Both placed the armband on Mohamed Salah – Nashton threw their triple captain chip at the Egyptian. That extra 16 points was the difference as Greeny’s had more double figure scorers, including our player of the week and two of the the top three gameweek attackers.

Player of the week – Eden Hazard – 18 points

It was another week of frustration for those opting for Harry Kane as captain, and to a degree, Romelu Lukaku. And it was a week of some notable point scoring comebacks that are sure to throw spanners in the works and give selection headaches for the weeks to come. Paul Pogba and Philippe Coutinho made scoring returns from injury – and it might be worth keeping an eye on Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil. Most ominous is Eden Hazard’s player of the week contribution. It becomes his third point-scoring performance of the last four games. Also, Chelsea’s fixtures, following a tricky trip to Anfield this weekend, hit a purple patch all the way through to the new year. Definitely one to watch.

Bargain of the week – Callum Wilson – 17 points

Another gradual comeback crowned by a match-winning performance and only the third Premier League hat trick of the season. Callum Wilson made a blistering start to his Premier League career only for a serious injury to stop him in his tracks – and that included a hat trick against West Ham in the early part of the 2015/16 season. So don’t rush out to buy him just yet. He could lose a leg next weekend.

Twat of the week – Simon Francis – -2 points

A second successive clean sheet for Bournemouth, but one that won’t be enjoyed by those that saw an opportunity to bring in this particular defensive asset. The fact they went on to score two more goals after the dismissal might make it worse. He really didn’t need to put himself in that position after all.

Goal of the week – Kevin De Bruyne. City’s 5th goal of the week winner.

End of season results

May 23, 2017

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255

The Craggy Islanders are our champions. By three points. I think that might be our closest finish yet. It was looking at one point, before the bonuses came in, that it might end up being a tie. I’m glad it wasn’t. I didn’t fancy the season long count back of goals scored. The Islanders won the last weekly battle 85 to 80 – the five point gap enough to take over at the top. WHMA played the All Out Attack, but to no avail. It wouldn’t have made a difference had they not bothered.

The Islanders started this season as our first manager of the week and then spent most of the next three months coming and going, in and out of the top 10. They hit a century in gameweek 14 climbing back to the summit. From that moment on they never left the top four, clinging on to first for six weeks between 16 and 22, and then next appearing in top spot when it really mattered – gameweek 38.

Meaning When Harry Met Alli must settle for second place for the second successive year. They were always in the mix. They never dropped out of the top 10 but for one week in December. From the turn of the year they took up residence in the top four and never fell below that. They were at the head of the group of teams trying to peg back Aquamar through the last third of the season, managing to take the lead in gameweek 37. Perhaps their decision to play their bench boost a week earlier than The Islanders cost them the title. We’ll never know.

And we’ll never know whether Aquamar’s itchy transfer finger cost them the top prize. Sitting in the top 3,000 worldwide in gameweek 32 with an 80 point lead over their nearest Buckets challenger, they went on a complete transfer bender making 19 in the last six weeks. Not having Harry Kane to play out the final two weeks, however, was probably the biggest handicap. It was a season of what might have been for Aquamar, also finishing runners-up in the Buckets Cup to Shoelace Untied.

Fourth place was a battle to the death with five or so teams continuously changing places over the closing two months of the season. Kebab Eaters United eventually pipped Edgbaston to the last cash prize. Edgbaston finished fifth last year too, but do take home the prize for the May manager of the month and the highest weekly score – a record breaking 181 points in gameweek 37.

Shoelace ploughed all of their energy into winning the cup, taking 76 points worth of hits across three gameweeks in order to outscore their opponents. Curiously, they also climbed the table, proving that taking hits doesn’t necessarily always cost you points. As long as you bring in the right players. It’s not a tactic I’d suggest playing across an entire season.

Rico United were double month winners and Yeboah’s Right Foot won manager of the week more than anyone else, coming out on top four times. That’s probably pretty impressive in a 53 team league. The record still stands at seven in a 26 team league.

Alexis Sanchez topped the player charts by some distance, although had Harry Kane played out a full season, it’s probable he’d have collected more points. He finished joint third with Eden Hazard, and just behind Dele Alli, but missed eight games with injury. Tom Heaton was the top goalkeeper. He kept ten clean sheets, and headed both the saves made and bonus points tables to finish ahead of Hugo Lloris and Thibault Courtois. The Chelsea defence ruled. No-one got close to Cahill, Alonso and Azpilicueta. Kane, Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku topped the bonus charts, all scoring 33. Marcos Alonso’s value rose the most over the course of the season, £0.9 million to £6.9 million.

Picking a bargain buy of the season hasn’t been as easy as last year when we had so many Leicester players to choose from. West Brom’s second top scorer, Gareth McAuley, deserves a mention. The 804 year old defender started as a £4.5 million back up in many teams but probably lasted the distance thanks to his steady return of goals and clean sheets – up until the point that West Brom reached 40 points and they got the holiday brochures out. Josh King’s second half of the season was as prolific as any of the elite forward players in the league. Only Sanchez and Alli scored more from midfield. From gameweek 20 onwards he contributed in 13 of the 18 games he played in. Expect a position change and starting price rise for next season.

See you then.

Gameweek 31 preview

April 4, 2017

Burnley v Stoke
Leicester v Sunderland
Watford v West Brom
Man Utd v Everton
Arsenal v West Ham
Hull v Middlesbrough
Southampton v Crystal Palace
Swansea v Spurs
Chelsea v Man City
Liverpool v Bournemouth

Chelsea’s apparent march to the title has turned into a bit of a limp in recent weeks. No clean sheet in seven has included an unexpected draw with Burnley, an even more unexpected defeat against Palace and a skin of their teeth victory over Stoke. It’s probably been the case for a while, but it seems no longer necessary to have three Chelsea players in your squad. There is no current value for money in those once fixture-proof defenders.

And yet, despite the lack of clean sheets, interest in the Chelsea back line still remains high, probably because they’re chipping in with the odd goal and assist still. Only Cesar Azpilicueta has seen a nosedive in his price in recent weeks. People are still tending to buy Marcos Alonso rather than sell him. He’s still playing further forward than most of the rest of his team, but is he really likely to come up with another 20+ score. I guess that’s what we’re all worried might happen if we were to give him the boot.

Eden Hazard is the only Chelsea player resident on the front page of the form table at the moment and Diego Costa has two one point scores to his name in the last two weeks. Maybe a defeat at the hands of Manchester City this week will see managers think twice about their Chelsea assets, particularly with a double gameweek on the horizon for Manchester United and a much easier run in lined up for their nearest challengers, Spurs.

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