End of season results

May 23, 2017

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255

The Craggy Islanders are our champions. By three points. I think that might be our closest finish yet. It was looking at one point, before the bonuses came in, that it might end up being a tie. I’m glad it wasn’t. I didn’t fancy the season long count back of goals scored. The Islanders won the last weekly battle 85 to 80 – the five point gap enough to take over at the top. WHMA played the All Out Attack, but to no avail. It wouldn’t have made a difference had they not bothered.

The Islanders started this season as our first manager of the week and then spent most of the next three months coming and going, in and out of the top 10. They hit a century in gameweek 14 climbing back to the summit. From that moment on they never left the top four, clinging on to first for six weeks between 16 and 22, and then next appearing in top spot when it really mattered – gameweek 38.

Meaning When Harry Met Alli must settle for second place for the second successive year. They were always in the mix. They never dropped out of the top 10 but for one week in December. From the turn of the year they took up residence in the top four and never fell below that. They were at the head of the group of teams trying to peg back Aquamar through the last third of the season, managing to take the lead in gameweek 37. Perhaps their decision to play their bench boost a week earlier than The Islanders cost them the title. We’ll never know.

And we’ll never know whether Aquamar’s itchy transfer finger cost them the top prize. Sitting in the top 3,000 worldwide in gameweek 32 with an 80 point lead over their nearest Buckets challenger, they went on a complete transfer bender making 19 in the last six weeks. Not having Harry Kane to play out the final two weeks, however, was probably the biggest handicap. It was a season of what might have been for Aquamar, also finishing runners-up in the Buckets Cup to Shoelace Untied.

Fourth place was a battle to the death with five or so teams continuously changing places over the closing two months of the season. Kebab Eaters United eventually pipped Edgbaston to the last cash prize. Edgbaston finished fifth last year too, but do take home the prize for the May manager of the month and the highest weekly score – a record breaking 181 points in gameweek 37.

Shoelace ploughed all of their energy into winning the cup, taking 76 points worth of hits across three gameweeks in order to outscore their opponents. Curiously, they also climbed the table, proving that taking hits doesn’t necessarily always cost you points. As long as you bring in the right players. It’s not a tactic I’d suggest playing across an entire season.

Rico United were double month winners and Yeboah’s Right Foot won manager of the week more than anyone else, coming out on top four times. That’s probably pretty impressive in a 53 team league. The record still stands at seven in a 26 team league.

Alexis Sanchez topped the player charts by some distance, although had Harry Kane played out a full season, it’s probable he’d have collected more points. He finished joint third with Eden Hazard, and just behind Dele Alli, but missed eight games with injury. Tom Heaton was the top goalkeeper. He kept ten clean sheets, and headed both the saves made and bonus points tables to finish ahead of Hugo Lloris and Thibault Courtois. The Chelsea defence ruled. No-one got close to Cahill, Alonso and Azpilicueta. Kane, Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku topped the bonus charts, all scoring 33. Marcos Alonso’s value rose the most over the course of the season, £0.9 million to £6.9 million.

Picking a bargain buy of the season hasn’t been as easy as last year when we had so many Leicester players to choose from. West Brom’s second top scorer, Gareth McAuley, deserves a mention. The 804 year old defender started as a £4.5 million back up in many teams but probably lasted the distance thanks to his steady return of goals and clean sheets – up until the point that West Brom reached 40 points and they got the holiday brochures out. Josh King’s second half of the season was as prolific as any of the elite forward players in the league. Only Sanchez and Alli scored more from midfield. From gameweek 20 onwards he contributed in 13 of the 18 games he played in. Expect a position change and starting price rise for next season.

See you then.


Gameweek 31 preview

April 4, 2017

Burnley v Stoke
Leicester v Sunderland
Watford v West Brom
Man Utd v Everton
Arsenal v West Ham
Hull v Middlesbrough
Southampton v Crystal Palace
Swansea v Spurs
Chelsea v Man City
Liverpool v Bournemouth

Chelsea’s apparent march to the title has turned into a bit of a limp in recent weeks. No clean sheet in seven has included an unexpected draw with Burnley, an even more unexpected defeat against Palace and a skin of their teeth victory over Stoke. It’s probably been the case for a while, but it seems no longer necessary to have three Chelsea players in your squad. There is no current value for money in those once fixture-proof defenders.

And yet, despite the lack of clean sheets, interest in the Chelsea back line still remains high, probably because they’re chipping in with the odd goal and assist still. Only Cesar Azpilicueta has seen a nosedive in his price in recent weeks. People are still tending to buy Marcos Alonso rather than sell him. He’s still playing further forward than most of the rest of his team, but is he really likely to come up with another 20+ score. I guess that’s what we’re all worried might happen if we were to give him the boot.

Eden Hazard is the only Chelsea player resident on the front page of the form table at the moment and Diego Costa has two one point scores to his name in the last two weeks. Maybe a defeat at the hands of Manchester City this week will see managers think twice about their Chelsea assets, particularly with a double gameweek on the horizon for Manchester United and a much easier run in lined up for their nearest challengers, Spurs.

Gameweek 24 results

February 6, 2017

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
71 1353
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
88 1347
down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
51 1335
down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
55 1331
same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
77 1322
same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
64 1293
up Cooksters
Peter Cook
78 1288
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
60 1284
down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
60 1279
10  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
54 1268
11  up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
60 1268
12  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
66 1251
13  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
42 1250
14  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
57 1244
15  same Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
53 1242
16  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
43 1241
17  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
49 1241
72 1239
18  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 1239
20  same Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
43 1224
21  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
70 1224
22  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
35 1223
23  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1223
24  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
70 1222
48 1215
26  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
45 1203
27  up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
67 1197
28  up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
78 1186
29  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
44 1185
30  same Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
51 1181
31  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
64 1172
32  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
43 1170
33  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
44 1158
34  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
47 1155
35  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
35 1149
36  same Have a little dink
Ian Williams
41 1131
37  up jetty city
scott mcgow
97 1130
38  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
51 1125
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
49 1119
40  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
34 1118
41  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
56 1106
42  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
81 1103
43  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
56 1095
44  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
79 1094
45  down Pepe Le Blue
53 1093
46  up Dj daz
darren frankland
67 1082
47  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
53 1071
48  up Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
50 1019
49  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
30 1004
50  up Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
58 983
51  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
47 975
52  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
31 971
53  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
70 962


Jetty City, for the second consecutive week, win manager of the week. They were the only team to manage a 50+ score during the drab midweek. This weekend they almost hit a century. Had they played their perfect XI or played their bench boost they’d have got past the 100 point mark and achieved the highest weekly score.

They were one of the few teams who went with a Lukaku/Defoe double pronged attack, captaining the Belgian, and picking up 55 points from their strike force along. That’s more points from two players than most teams managed with their full XI – the teams that unluckily had neither striker in their line up. There were plenty of teams carrying Lukaku, most notably our top two, Aquamar and When Harry Met Alli, who both handed him the armband.

Aquamar were involved in the biggest tie of the preliminary round of the Buckets Cup, coming up against sixth placed Kebab Eaters United and triumphing 71-64. It’s unlucky on Kebab Eaters who were the second highest scoring losers of the round. Shoelace crept through scoring only 35 points to Bazza 28 United’s 30. No Fuchs Given and 4 Fuchs Ake’s victories have set up a Fuchs derby in the first round proper, whilst the closest tie of the round saw Hedgehog’s beat Uriah’s on goals scored, 5 to 4 – Lukaku the difference again. All results and revised first round draw are on the Buckets Cup page.


Player of the week – Romelu Lukaku – 21 points. Cue kneejerk Lukaku transferring across the board.

Bargain of the week – Lamine Kone – 13 points. Palace doomed.

Donkey of the week – Jeff Hendrick – -2 points. He lasted six minutes.

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard.

Gameweek 12 preview

November 17, 2016

Man Utd v Arsenal
Crystal Palace v Man City
Everton v Swansea
Southampton v Liverpool
Stoke v Bournemouth
Sunderland v Hull
Watford v Leicester
Spurs v West Ham
Middlesbrough v Chelsea
West Brom v Burnley

We’ve a mixed bag of casualties and fitness uncertainties courtesy of the international break. Some of the big hitters didn’t even play. The only thing Roberto Firmino and Sergio Aguero need worry about is a touch of jetlag, whereas Mesut Ozil may not have even left the country, having been completely rested for Germany’s two games.  The same can’t be said for Philippe Coutinho or Alexis Sanchez. Coutinho, now the game’s most popular player with a 47% ownership, played virtually every minute of both of Brazil’s games, only coming off towards the end of the victory over Peru on Tuesday. Sanchez allegedly suffered an injury in Chile’s first game of the break, only to take the field in heavy strapping for the second game. He scored two and played 86 minutes. They both appear to have returned injury free, but how fresh?

Diego Costa and Eden Hazard’s values could have gone through the roof given their recent performances, but early injuries tempered the transfer scramble and kept them affordable. Costa was another not to play a minute having succumbed to a groin complaint. Eden Hazard got a knock in Belgium’s defeat of Estonia and came off at half time. Both have declared themselves fit. That’s declared THEMSLEVES fit. Their manager might have other ideas. The extra day to recover should work in their favour. If you were going to go Chelsea mad, it looks like that’s still an option.

Gameweek 11 results

November 7, 2016

same Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
46 623
59 622
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
69 620
down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
57 619
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
60 615
down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
49 613
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
63 609
same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
56 597
up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
60 591
10  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
47 586
11  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
50 585
12  up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
66 584
13  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
46 579
14  same RICO UNITED
54 577
15  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
38 572
16  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
77 571
17  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
58 570
18  up Cooksters
Peter Cook
74 569
19  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 567
20  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
55 560
21  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
50 550
22  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
48 550
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 542
24  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
54 541
25  up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
87 538
26  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
40 537
27  up FTM
Stu Smith
62 532
28  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
47 528
29  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 527
30  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
62 526
31  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
42 526
32  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
43 526
33  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
52 524
34  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
49 519
35  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
53 511
36  same Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
52 508
37  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
25 485
38  same Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
42 484
39  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
54 483
40  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
31 478
41  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
44 477
42  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
60 473
43  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
51 472
44  up Pepe Le Blue
68 471
45  down jetty city
scott mcgow
41 460
46  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
47 450
47  up DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
55 446
48  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
36 434
49  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
44 432
50  same bazza 28 united
laura barrett
31 417
51  same Dj daz
darren frankland
54 406
52  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 403
53  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
42 395


Friday’s preview highlighted the rising stock of the Chelsea team and I don’t know why I didn’t take my own advice. Their fifth consecutive clean sheet and their fifth consecutive victory. They were the only team to keep a clean sheet this weekend. Only 11 defenders collected anything but their appearance points and four of them play for Chelsea. Eden Hazard scored his fifth goal in four games and registered the highest score of the week. His overall performance merited much more than the 19 points he achieved. He’s an absolutely essential buy at the moment.

So, it’s just typical that a two week international break should come along. Although it does give you plenty of time to figure out exactly how to wedge him into your team. But with each passing day there’s the danger that his value will edge higher and higher. It had already jumped from £9.8 to £10 million over the two gameweeks before the Everton game. There’s every chance it’ll increase by the same amount, or maybe more, come the gameweek 12 deadline.  And the same goes for absolutely everybody else in the Chelsea starting XI at the moment from Courtois to Costa.

No less impressive were Liverpool, hammering six past Watford. Their front four all returned double figure scores. It was Philippe Coutinho’s fourth – a feat only matched by Hazard and Alexis Sanchez. Mane, Lallana and Firmino have all managed three each. They occupy four of the top twelve scorers overall – four of the top eight midfielders. If you’ve still got a wildcard, gameweek 12 looks like a perfect opportunity to play it. At whose expense might be better looked at in the preview in a fortnights time. A few injuries to Arsenal, Spurs and City players over the international break will make that decision a bit easier. Here’s hoping.

Racing Club Skegness were far and away our highest scorers of the week with 87 points. There were only two other managers in the 70’s. Greenyteamy opted for Firmino as captain. He contributed 30 of their 77 points. Cooksters 74 points came with a 38 point contribution from Hazard as captain. Skegness also went with Hazard, but also benefited from Coutinho’s contribution, a resurgence from Wayne Rooney on his recall to the Manchester United squad and Sam Vokes’ 11 point return, which puts him at the top of the budget striker picks. His current form is bettered only by that of Costa and Romelu Lukaku.


Player of the week – Eden Hazard – 19 points. Goal of the week too.

Bargain of the week – Robert Snodgrass – 14 points. Back with immediate effect.

Donkey of the week – Jose Holebas – -2 points. A lot of managers won’t be happy with him – a form budget defender in a lot of teams. Picked up a ban too.

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard. His second goal from a slightly odd angle.

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