Season review

May 14, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

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Gameweek 34 results

April 20, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
106 2069
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
107 2008
3  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
74 1985
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
91 1984
5  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
76 1982
6  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
81 1981
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
105 1980
8  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
99 1969
9  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
78 1940
10  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
112 1938
11  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
69 1933
12  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
83 1928
13  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
80 1925
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
65 1922
15  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
82 1916
16  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
83 1908
17  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
63 1889
18  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
113 1885
19  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
93 1882
20  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
73 1879
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
57 1872
22  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1870
23  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 1866
24  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1852
25  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1845
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
81 1837
27  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
89 1837
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
91 1834
29  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
75 1823
30  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
64 1818
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1812
32  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
75 1807
33  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 1800
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
56 1799
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 1797
36  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
64 1791
37  same FTM
Stu Smith
73 1785
38  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
93 1783
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
80 1757
40  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
68 1717
41  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
73 1707
42  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
54 1705
43  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 1693
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 1687
45  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
82 1672
46  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
69 1648
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
90 1645
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
61 1572
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
72 1552
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
73 1449

 

Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 113 points

Only five 100+ scores in what was an underwhelming double gameweek. The highest scorers averaged not much more than what you’d expect from a single gameweek; and rotation, as it always does, reared it’s annoying, ugly head. Most managers played the week as best they could, utilising their bench boosts and triple captains, and most topped the worldwide average of 64 points, which is the highest of the season so far. The best Buckets team were the Kebab Eaters. Their 113 points was enough to climb them six places and within sight of the top 10. They bench boosted with Chris Smalling, Pascal Gross, Romelu Lukaku and Luca Milivojevic all among their XV.

The Vinegar Pissers stretched their lead at the top to 61 points and have gone top 10,000 in the world. They also topped the century mark. As did The Craggy Islanders, who are now in second, and FC Caligula, who now sit seventh. And like a Grand National finish, the favourites are taking their positions and getting ready to pounce in the final furlongs. Despicable Mee also rose another two places into fourth. The chipless Hornets dropped to third but did well not to lose too much ground and still post a respectable 74 points. Both Nashton and Brexiter, who didn’t use a chip this week, also scored well and despite dropping places aren’t out of the race. They do have one chip left each – their bench boost – surely lined up for GW37. The VPs, the Islanders and Despicable all have their triple captain remaining. But keep an eye on Caligula. They still have their free hit, probably primed for the upcoming week, and their triple captain, again no doubt ready for GW37. Some teams may be a player or two short for the coming week’s reduced schedule – Caligula can pick who they want.

Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 16 points

Man United defenders were always likely to be well positioned to score highly this week with two fixtures against West Brom and Bournemouth. It didn’t start well with a 1-0 loss to the bottom club. That prompted all kinds of unsettling hints from Mourinho about dropping players. Smalling played both games, perhaps underlining the fact he’s as guaranteed a starter as anyone at the moment. He also made up for conceding against West Brom by scoring against Bournemouth, earning back the clean sheet points he should never have lost in the first place.

Bargain of the week – Jan Bednarek – 13 points

Drafted in by Mark Hughes to make his Southampton debut out of sheer desparation – and it paid off – if you’re a fantasy manager and you’d taken the longest punt imaginable and plonked him in your squad. Only 6,000 managers have him in their team in the world and I imagine most of them aren’t playing any more. He may appear in a few more next week as he managed a goal and a clean sheet across his double gameweek appearances. He could come in very useful come GW37 when Saints play twice again and you want to save some money.

Twat of the week – Wayne Hennessey – 0 points

One of those weeks where no-one really earned the wooden spoon award. Hennessey conceded two and picked up a yellow, so he’s the worse player you could have picked. Palace don’t really keep clean sheets, so more fool you if you thought they would in this relegation scrap against their so called derby rivals.

Goal of the week – Any Carroll. 

Another double gameweek let down – given the amount of games you’d have expected at least one screamer. This was the best of a pretty lame bunch. 2m29s

Gameweek 22 results

January 5, 2018

1  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
87 1308
2  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
40 1298
3  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
84 1278
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
47 1272
5  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
63 1266
6  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
77 1262
7  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
61 1256
8  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
62 1254
9  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
56 1254
10  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
43 1251
11  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
35 1231
12  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 1218
13  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
59 1216
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
51 1215
15  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
47 1208
16  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
38 1199
17  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
56 1198
18  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
51 1191
19  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
49 1189
20  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
54 1188
21  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
70 1187
22  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
50 1186
23  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
47 1184
24  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
57 1174
25  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
49 1172
26  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
83 1170
27  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
51 1170
28  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
63 1159
29  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
23 1157
30  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
37 1154
31  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
65 1152
32  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
42 1150
33  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
53 1147
34  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
50 1146
35  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
45 1126
36  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
56 1114
37  up blakes11
Steven Darling
86 1112
38  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
65 1102
39  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
46 1101
40  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
33 1084
41  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
34 1084
42  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
45 1078
43  same FTM
Stu Smith
47 1073
44  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
37 1070
45  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
64 1065
46  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
48 1059
47  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
66 1049
48  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
31 1017
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
54 1003
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
43 861

 

Manager of the week – Despicable Mee – – Trevor Gordon – 87 points

Not only the manager of the week, but our new leader. As soon as we slip into the New Year, Hornets, ever present at the top since August, are knocked from their perch. Maybe this could be Despicable Mee’s year after two consecutive second place finishes. They played their free hit with good effect, although it would have been a lot better – and for a lot more managers – had Harry Kane (yes, him again) done what he was supposed to and scored two more hat tricks. I hope no-one triple captained him. The double gameweek could have been better. It was easier to draft in West Ham players than Spurs players given their cheapness and that didn’t open up too many point scoring opportunities. The free hit was probably the best chip to play in the circumstances with doubts over rotation and the fitness of some players. Without it, introducing Alli, Eriksen, Son and/or Kane would probably have meant losing a Liverpool or Man City big hitter. DM’s free hit consisted of three from West Ham and Spurs, and three from Man City and Leicester, who were the week’s highest scoring teams. It couldn’t have worked out any better really. Honorable mentions for The Winnings R Mine, who now sit 3rd, having been in 21st place on Christmas Eve. TWRM played an early wildcard, dropping Kane (brave/smart) and captaining the highest scoring double gameweeker, Son Heung-Min. Must Try Harder went with the free hit and a similar team set up to Despicable Mee to the tune of 83 points. Blakes11 totaled 86 with their early wildcard, captaining Alli, ignoring Kane, and picking up 51 points from double gameweekers.

Player of the week – Riyad Mahrez – 14 points

Mahrez has been racking up some impressive totals in recent weeks with either a goal or an assist in eight of his last nine games. He’s now the 5th highest scorer overall – the fourth highest midfielder. This might explain why he still feels like a slightly more under the radar choice. Is there any room? It’s not impossible to have him in your midfield, but it’s at the expense of someone who maybe feels more likely to score – like a Coutinho, a Sanchez or a Hazard. Yet, he beats them all in overall total and form.

Bargain of the week – Marc Albrighton – 13 points

Albrighton was pipped to the overall player of the week by his teammate, Mahrez, picking up three bonus points to his two. Both contributed a goal and assist in their victory over Huddersfield. Albrighton’s recent figures are good and worthy of note. He has six scoring weeks in his last ten, becoming a much more regular starter under Claude Puel. And all for £5.5 million.

Twat of the week – Christian Kabasele – -1 points

Soon to be renamed ‘Twatford of the week’ due to the frequency with which they win this award. It shows on Marco Silva’s face too. He knows. It was a slightly unfortunate own goal, rather than a scything challenge that did for Kabasele. Still, he went and did it in a week in which no-one conceded seven or snapped someone in two in the first half.

Goal of the week. Pedro Obiang. Two great goals in one match but this was the most unexpectedly spectacular. 2m15s

Gameweek 13 results

November 28, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
53 791
2  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
62 765
3  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
65 748
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
35 745
5  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 737
6  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
44 726
7  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
60 718
8  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
46 717
9  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 717
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
64 715
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
33 709
12  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 706
13  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
36 701
14  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
44 699
15  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
34 699
16  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
53 698
17  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
47 689
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 689
19  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
54 674
20  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
62 673
21  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
38 673
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
45 671
23  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
52 664
24  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
48 662
25  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
35 660
26  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
41 657
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
34 657
28  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
40 656
29  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 654
30  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 654
31  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
57 649
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 649
33  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 648
34  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
49 645
35  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
50 642
36  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
51 642
37  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
52 637
38  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
56 635
39  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
48 634
40  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
34 628
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
48 628
42  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
31 626
43  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
34 620
44  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
58 614
45  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
66 598
46  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
51 593
47  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
37 592
48  down blakes11
Steven Darling
36 585
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
52 549
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
41 486

 

Manager of the week – Ian Williams – Emergency Gap Jumper – 66 points

Two managers finished the week on 66 points but it was the Emergency Gap Jumpers who claim the weekly honours by virtue of scoring one more goal than The Craggy Islanders. Their four goals came from Mohamed Salah, Raheem Sterling, Sergio Aguero and Harry Kane – who, in the week when the majority ditched him as their go to captain, finally came good. Neither team have put themselves into contention for the November manager of the month. That still looks like a race between Greenyteamy and Nashton Villa, although a strong gameweek from Atletico Chappers has moved them to within striking distance.

1  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 220
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
53 215
3  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 202
4  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
51 196
5  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
62 191

At the top of the overall league, Hornets remain the team to catch – as they have done all season. The gap back to Fun Lovren Criminals stands at 34 points. Last year’s runners up, Despicable Mee, since gameweek 8, have moved from 19th to 15th to 11th to 8th to 5th – and now into third – and look set for another title challenge.

Player of the week – Marvin Zeegelaar – 14 points

Assisted two of Watford’s goals against Newcastle in only his second appearance for the club. He didn’t have a bad first week either getting clean sheet and bonus points in the victory over West Ham. There are lots of temptingly cheap Watford options springing up at the moment. Last week, Will Hughes, in only his second start, almost took the bargain award, and he added another eight points to his total this week. Interestingly, Watford have scored at least twice in every away game they’ve played this season. And I bet most managers would back the home defence for a clean sheet against them in most weeks. Don’t.

Bargain of the week – Charlie Austin – 13 points

There was little action on the striker front this week with only Austin bagging more than one goal. It’s his first start of the season after having only made a few minutes worth of substitute appearances in recent weeks. Saints had only scored four goals from open play before the weekend. If Austin can steer clear of the treatment room and cement a starting berth he should add to that total.

Twat of the week – Rajiv Van La Parra – -1 points

Waited until after the final whistle to engage in a bit of handbags with Leroy Sane, who can probably consider himself fortunate not to have a similar ban looming. With the amount of big point scoring midfielders active in the game at the moment we could do with the odd ban and/or injury being thrown in just to narrow down the choices a little bit.

Goal of the week – Xherdan Shaqiri.

Usually pops up with a few wonder goals per season (and little else). No vid though?!

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