The 2019 Buckets Cup final will be contested by The Craggy Islanders and Neil Madrid. Both are previous league winners and losing cup finalists, so whoever wins will become just the third team to have won both a Buckets Cup and a Buckets League title. We could even see another double with the Islanders taking their place at the top of the league this week and Neil Madrid closing the gap in fourth place.
Manager of the week – Drop It Like It’s Hart – Jason Earwicker – 70 points
Another relatively low scoring week on the whole. Two missed penalties by PEA and Paul Pogba may have affected some final totals. Bad if you had both. Double bad if you stuck the armband on one of them. Pogba particularly was a popular choice for captain. I don’t think any of us were unlucky enough to chance the triple captain. Drop It’s 70 points contained a 25 point West Ham contribution. Is that part of a strategy working towards the blank in which the Hammers are one of the ten teams with a game?
Player of the week – Declan Rice West Ham United – 15 points
There aren’t many players who have ended the gameweek as the highest scorer on two occasions. Who’d have thought a West Ham defender would achieve that feat, particularly given their shoddy clean sheet record. Rice’s goal, clean sheet and top bonus against Newcastle matches his performance against Arsenal back in GW22. It’s worth noting in the six intervening games he’s only picked up an additional 10 points.
Bargain of the week – Andreas Periera – Manchester United – 12 points
The second best goal in a game full of cracking goals and an assist to one of Romelu Lukaku’s double and, given the lengthy Old Trafford injury list, we have a £4.5 million Manchester United player in with a shout of nailing down a place for the forthcoming double gameweeks.
Twat of the week – Lucas Torriera – Arsenal – -2 points
Not many North London derbies go by without a red card. This time Arsenal’s tenacious Uruguayan midfielder got the early bath – if you can call the 95th minute early. I’m sure most managers will be cursing those penalty misses more.
Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 82 points
There wasn’t much happening up front this week with just 20 goals scored and seven clean sheets. The biggest scores in the league were created by those with solid defences, not least the Kebab Eaters who amassed 43 points from their back five. The highest scoring being Lucas Digne with 12 points. That’s his third double digit haul in seven weeks – and his fifth attacking return in the same time. He’s Alonso-like in his ability to get forward, find a cross or belt in a free kick. He’s Doherty-like in his price.
Player of the week – Declan Rice – West Ham United – 15 points
Rice is classed as a defender but has been playing as a defensive midfielder. That never guarantees you any points anyway, but in a West Ham team not keeping clean sheets, even on this run of fixtures they’ve had against bottom half teams, purchasing him seems even more pointless, other than to fill a £4.4 million hole. And even if that’s what you are doing, you invariably benched him this weekend anyway, didn’t you?
Bargain of the week – Shane Long – Southampton – 12 points
Shane Long hasn’t scored since the 80’s. Maybe he can grab an opportunity, although it’s likely he’ll become nothing more than bench fodder (like Rice) to free up cash for more big hitters elsewhere. Danny Ings seems to be in and out with injury, Charlie Austin is the same and is misfiring when fit anyway. Under this new manager, who knows? Southampton do seemed to have turned a corner.
Twat of the week – Willy Boly – Wolverhampton Wanderers – -3 points
A week of close games and few goals until the last offering on Monday night when Wolves made a tricky task twice as hard by having a defender sent off after just 19 minutes. Are City back. So many managers ditched their prize assets after that run of three defeats in four. Since then they’ve beaten Liverpool and scored 19 goals in three games. Time to draft them all back in again.
Goal of the week – Andre Schurrle. He likes a shot. Finally one of them has gone in.