Gameweek 34 results

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 2128
2  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
75 2123
3  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
42 2104
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
45 2063
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
44 2018
6  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 1997
7  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
82 1991
8  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
43 1973
9  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
64 1946
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 1944
11  down FTM
Stu Smith
43 1938
12  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
59 1920
13  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
54 1896
14  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
36 1894
15  up King raggg
Steven Darling
90 1891
16  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
44 1879
17  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
86 1879
18  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
62 1862
19  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
34 1859
20  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
71 1858
21  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
42 1855
22  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
65 1845
23  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
54 1834
24  same RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
58 1831
25  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
55 1817
26  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
67 1805
27  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
59 1795
28  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
74 1789
29  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
59 1785
30  same Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
49 1785
31  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
38 1782
32  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
39 1776
33  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
49 1775
34  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
59 1742
35  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
48 1742
36  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
84 1737
37  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
67 1731
38  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
62 1727
39  same Morningblues
Jeff Morning
70 1723
40  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
84 1722
41  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
33 1715
42  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
66 1702
43  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
47 1689
44  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
70 1687
45  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
72 1685
46  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
46 1665
47  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
85 1650
48  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
74 1641
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
55 1544
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
57 1475

 

Top of the league – The Craggy Islanders – 2128 points

The three way battle for Buckets supremacy took another twist this week. The Islanders remain top, but theirs and Albions less than average totals opened the door for Da Pitch to creep back into real contention. The Islander’s wildcard was played with more than one eye on next weeks fixtures, but Brighton’s total failure as a double gameweek team this week let them and many others down. No goals scored and seven conceded is not what was wanted. Some managers fell even further into the trap and captained a Brighton defender. It’s a cruel irony that the best bet would have been to stick with those single gameweeking bloody Bournemouth players who hammered the first five past the hapless Seagulls defence. Take some consolation in the fact that Brighton defender Shane Duffy backed himself in his own fantasy side. Bizarrely, however, he also had Callum Wilson in his attack!

Manager of the week – King Raggg – Stephen Darling – 90 points

King Raggg accumulated 31 points from Bournemouth assets, as well as healthy contributions from captain Christian Eriksen and Raheem Sterling, to post an impressive 90 point total. It puts them top of the monthly league at the halfway stage. Not a single Brighton player in sight. A wise move.

Player of the week – Lucas Moura – Tottenham Hotspur – 21 points

Spurs players were popular among most managers and not just those on a wildcard ahead of next week’s double. Any team playing Huddersfield almost guarantees some return. Even before Dele Alli was ruled out, Lucas Moura should have come into contention for many more teams than he did, considering the likely rotation ahead of their European fixture in the midweek. Son was benched but nabbed a late assist much to the relief of many managers -and Christian Eriksen provided the same return in a 90 minute performance. This paved the way for Moura to provide a hat trick, top bonus and a load of hindsight.

Bargain of the week – Sean Morrison – 16 points

And in the end the best double gameweeker came from Cardiff. One point from the Burnley game was followed up with fifteen against Brighton. Its Morrison’s eighth clean sheet – Cardiff’s ninth overall. Brighton have kept six. Weren’t Cardiff the better bet for points in the first place?

Twat of the week – Troy Deeney – Watford – -2 points

Deeney was another popular choice on wildcard ahead of the double. He’ll play no further part in that. Watford will have to look to Andre Gray or Isaac Success to maintain their quest for the best of the rest. Some fantasy managers will be less enthused to make the same switch I imagine.

Goal of the week – Mohamed Salah. 1m08s

Advertisements

Gameweek 32 and March manager of the month

1  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
98 2001
2  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
89 1993
3  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
79 1974
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
103 1932
5  up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
96 1909
6  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 1896
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
106 1866
8  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
77 1845
9  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
120 1837
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
94 1828
11  down FTM
Stu Smith
65 1823
12  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
94 1809
13  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
83 1805
14  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
71 1804
15  same Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
89 1801
16  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
117 1783
17  same RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
80 1759
18  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
90 1756
19  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
78 1754
20  down King raggg
Steven Darling
58 1748
21  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
93 1737
22  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
93 1736
23  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
87 1730
24  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
90 1727
25  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
56 1707
26  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
73 1706
27  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
106 1696
28  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
95 1693
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
59 1690
30  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
91 1679
31  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
93 1675
32  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
71 1662
33  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
71 1656
34  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
100 1655
35  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
53 1646
36  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
57 1636
37  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
65 1633
38  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 1631
39  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
48 1628
40  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
40 1624
41  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
85 1621
42  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
70 1615
43  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
62 1611
44  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
69 1600
45  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
68 1584
46  down Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
51 1575
47  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
54 1544
48  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
48 1540
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
57 1463
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
61 1408

 

March manager of the month – Ayaj Supeda – FC Caligula – 270 points

One of a lowly seven triple figure totals in a frustrating double gameweek took Caligula over the line to the March manager prize.

1  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
106 270
2  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
83 264
3  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
93 262
4  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 261
5  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
120 258
6  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
68 257
7  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
94 257
8  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
89 255
9  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
98 253

Caligula played the free hit. Their closest challengers all went with the triple captain. Bullens will be cursing their luck the most, opting to put the armband on Raheem Sterling who returned absolutely nothing other than his appearance points for the one game he took part in. Calilgula also punted on Sterling – who didn’t? He wasn’t the only heavily backed double gameweeker who only made a single appearance. It was Aymeric Laporte, for the second consecutive Manchester City double gameweek, who impressed the most, and contributed the highest score to Caligula’s total.

Manager of the week – Sean Whyton – Rip Roaring Reds – 120 points

The Reds equaled the highest weekly gameweek score but only scored four goals from their bench-boosted squad. They needed to better the nine goals scored in the first double gameweek of the season by Shoelace to claim the highest score prize. Had they banged in nine they’d be outright leaders posting a potential 150 point weekly score.

Player of the week – Christian Eriksen – Tottenham Hotspur – 20 points

One of the few elite players to play both games and contribute in both, although Spurs assets weren’t all that heavily backed overall, certainly in comparison to those of City, United and Chelsea. Maybe that was to do with their tricky opening fixture against Liverpool. More was expected of United. City seemed happy to do the bare minimum and Chelsea, despite two victories, looked more convincing in their second fixture. Or was that just to do with the fact that Eden Hazard put in his monthly big performance?

Bargain of the week – Ruben Loftus-Cheek – Chelsea – 19 points

Hazard featured in most free hit squads. Punting on Ruben Loftus-Cheek would have earned you four more points for nearly £6 million less. Hazard was all set for the goal of the week nod until he was out-Hazarded by his younger team mate with the sumptuous curler that killed the game against Brighton.

Twat of the week – Ashley Young – Manchester United – -1 points

Indicative of Manchester United’s poor double gameweek return. No clean sheets was bad enough. Add to that only a single appearance by their most popular defensive pick, Victor Lindelof. Rashford and Martial impressed in the first game but neither started the second. Worst of all, Ashley Young received two quick yellows to end up on his minus score.

Goal of the week – Ruben Loftus-Cheek. 8m27s in.

Season review

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

Gameweek 33 results

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
37 1963
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
23 1911
3  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
45 1908
4  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
48 1906
5  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
35 1905
6  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
36 1897
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
39 1879
8  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 1870
9  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
65 1868
10  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 1862
11  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
29 1857
12  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
55 1853
13  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
35 1849
14  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
39 1838
15  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
38 1837
16  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
39 1830
17  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
19 1826
18  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
11 1815
19  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
44 1813
20  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
28 1806
21  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
27 1804
22  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1798
23  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
24 1779
24  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
37 1776
25  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
49 1774
26  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
40 1756
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
30 1756
28  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
25 1754
29  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
29 1748
30  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 1745
31  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
40 1743
32  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
19 1743
33  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
19 1738
34  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
50 1734
35  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
18 1732
36  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
30 1727
37  up FTM
Stu Smith
44 1712
38  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
24 1702
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
49 1685
40  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
38 1659
41  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
46 1649
42  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
42 1638
43  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
20 1638
44  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
17 1619
45  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
31 1590
46  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
20 1579
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
40 1555
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
34 1511
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
37 1480
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
45 1380

 

Manager of the week – Emergency Gap Jumper – Ian Williams – 65 points

The lowest average weekly score so far this season and arguably one of the most depressing weeks in fantasy league history. If you scraped above 40 – well done. The average was 32. Scores in the teens were commonplace. Harry Kane made an unexpected early return, but didn’t perform, double whammy-ing those managers who’d striven to get him back in by pretending to score with his sleeve – and then getting booked. Romelu Lukaku had nothing to do with the 3-2 title-stopping victory over Manchester City. Everton and Liverpool kept the only clean sheets. I could go on. The list of non-performing regulars is pretty long. EGJ’s 65 is pretty special – double the average – and streets ahead of everyone else. There were only two scores in the 50’s. Although the bench boost decision might be one to rue. Three extra points is not what you’re looking for from a chip which would have been better played either next week or in GW37. The Gap Jumpers do, however, leap into the top 10 for the first time this season (or possibly even ever?).

Player of the week – Christian Eriksen – 15 points

Judging by post match interviews, it appeared Eriksen was happy to take the assist for Spurs’ second goal, and that the goal be awarded to Harry Kane. This would have given Kane owners a likely extra 6 points, as he was sat on two bonus points at that time. Those captaining would have mustered an extra 12. I’m not sure too many of us, if anyone at all, has Eriksen in their teams. Alli’s in slightly better form and Son’s much cheaper. This almost makes Eriksen a tempting differential for their double double gameweeks.

Bargain of the week – Ayoze Perez – 12 points

Perez has been ticking over quite nicely in the cheap striker club without anyone really noticing. He’s registered points in six of the last eleven. Not only are there forward facing players, like Perez, in the £5-6 million bracket worth looking at, but unusually for Newcastle, they’re also pretty sound defensively. The danger is, that with them virtually safe, will they take their foot of the gas a little and cruise in to the end of the season. I hope not. A top half finish would be fantastic.

Twat of the week – Jack Stephens – -2 points

We’ve had some multi-twats in our time. And some pretty twattish tams sharing the twatness around, but this is some achievement – two weeks on the spin as king twat. Well done. Just when he was gaining in popularity as a cheap defender for a double double gameweeking team. He’s now suspended until GW36. Any Southampton assets are surely only going to be bench fodder for the bench boost week, so he is still of some use suspended in reserve until GW37 I suppose.

Goal of the week – Ayoze Perez. 

20s in

Gameweek 25 results and January Manager of the Month

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
47 1465
2  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
54 1464
3  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
66 1463
4  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 1462
5  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
53 1460
6  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
76 1452
7  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
49 1443
8  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
54 1430
9  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
55 1430
10  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
39 1425
11  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 1425
12  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
45 1401
13  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
71 1392
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
54 1389
15  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
56 1388
16  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
63 1387
17  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
50 1383
18  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
59 1376
19  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
56 1364
20  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
60 1362
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
55 1352
22  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
54 1352
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
67 1343
24  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1341
25  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 1339
26  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
50 1336
27  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
43 1335
28  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
65 1334
29  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
52 1333
30  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
45 1331
31  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
52 1331
32  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
57 1331
33  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 1314
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
48 1311
35  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
56 1309
36  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
60 1294
37  down blakes11
Steven Darling
63 1294
38  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
65 1260
39  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
42 1258
40  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1246
41  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
68 1246
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
40 1241
43  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1238
44  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
56 1227
45  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
59 1221
46  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
43 1204
47  up disco dancer
darren frankland
65 1188
48  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 1178
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
40 1151
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
48 1006

 

Manager of the month – The Winnings R Mine – David Bruce – 270 points (14 goals)

It was a close run thing for January Manager of the Month. The top four were separated by three points with The Winnings R Mine and Brexiter City both scoring 270 points and sharing first place. The Winnings R Mine take the prize, outscoring Brexiter by 14 goals to 11.

1  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
54 270
1  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 270
3  down blakes11
Steven Darling
63 268
4  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
76 267

Blakes11 triple captained in an attempt to pinch the award but just fell short. The Vinegar Pissers, despite winning manager of the week, will be cursing a Harry Kane captain choice – possibly not for the first time this season. Kane was outscored by seven other players in their line up – all of whom, as captain, would have given them the monthly award as well.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 76 points

It was a week in which the top scoring teams – Liverpool and Manchester City – did as they were supposed to and registered comfortable wins against struggling teams with all of their star players chipping in with either an assist or goal. It definitely wasn’t a week for relying on the clean sheet experts – Manchester United or Chelsea – to do what they were supposed to and keep out Spurs and Bournemouth. That’s maybe slightly harsh on United, but the double whammy for Phil Jones owners – and there are a lot – is the minus score courtesy of and own goal and a booking. Chelsea have no excuse. But for David De Gea in goal, The Vinegar Pissers avoided the dodgy defensive displays and picked up a healthy 38 points from their Liverpool and City contingent.

Player of the week – Sam Clucas – 15 points

There’s a Swansea revival to take notice of. They’re suddenly the team offering the most tempting cheap players. Jordan Ayew is the form cheap striker scoring four in his last seven. In GW24 Federico Fernandez was the best bargain player and Alfie Mawson was only just pipped to the overall player award by one point. Sam Clucas takes that prize this week with two goals in their impressive win over Arsenal to follow up their similarly impressive, and unexpected, win over Liverpool last week.

Bargain of the week – Callum Wilson – 12 points

Every single stat surrounding the Chelsea v Bournemouth fixture pointed towards a comfortable home win. The last five games between the two have all resulted in a Chelsea victory by an aggregate score of 13-3. Add to the that the fact that Chelsea had kept six clean sheets in their previous eight games with Bournemouth only managing four all season. It’s the reason Marcos Alonso and Cesar Azpilicueta top the £7 million mark for defenders. This week they collected a solitary point each as Wilson netted his fourth in six games and second double figure score in three.

Twat of the week – Phil Jones – -2 points

Who else? The fifth most owned defender in the game drops a clanger. It’s a one off. He’s been the most consistent United defender and is the joint highest bonus scorer across the back line. Don’t be surprised if he picks up another nine point haul against Huddersfield at the weekend.

Goal of the week – Christian Eriksen. Bit of a dearth of quality this week. This for no other reason that it was scored in 10 seconds. You’d think the internet would have a video of that whole 10 seconds wouldn’t you? It doesn’t.