Gameweek 13 results

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
53 791
2  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
62 765
3  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
65 748
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
35 745
5  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 737
6  same Kompany & Co
44 726
7  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
60 718
8  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
46 717
9  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 717
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
64 715
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
33 709
12  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 706
13  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
36 701
14  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
44 699
15  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
34 699
16  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
53 698
17  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
47 689
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 689
19  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
54 674
20  up Queen of the north
62 673
21  down Rico united
38 673
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
45 671
23  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
52 664
24  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
48 662
25  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
35 660
26  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
41 657
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
34 657
28  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
40 656
29  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 654
30  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 654
31  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
57 649
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 649
33  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 648
34  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
49 645
35  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
50 642
36  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
51 642
37  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
52 637
38  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
56 635
39  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
48 634
40  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
34 628
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
48 628
42  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
31 626
43  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
34 620
44  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
58 614
45  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
66 598
46  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
51 593
47  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
37 592
48  down blakes11
Steven Darling
36 585
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
52 549
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
41 486


Manager of the week – Ian Williams – Emergency Gap Jumper – 66 points

Two managers finished the week on 66 points but it was the Emergency Gap Jumpers who claim the weekly honours by virtue of scoring one more goal than The Craggy Islanders. Their four goals came from Mohamed Salah, Raheem Sterling, Sergio Aguero and Harry Kane – who, in the week when the majority ditched him as their go to captain, finally came good. Neither team have put themselves into contention for the November manager of the month. That still looks like a race between Greenyteamy and Nashton Villa, although a strong gameweek from Atletico Chappers has moved them to within striking distance.

1  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 220
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
53 215
3  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 202
4  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
51 196
5  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
62 191

At the top of the overall league, Hornets remain the team to catch – as they have done all season. The gap back to Fun Lovren Criminals stands at 34 points. Last year’s runners up, Despicable Mee, since gameweek 8, have moved from 19th to 15th to 11th to 8th to 5th – and now into third – and look set for another title challenge.

Player of the week – Marvin Zeegelaar – 14 points

Assisted two of Watford’s goals against Newcastle in only his second appearance for the club. He didn’t have a bad first week either getting clean sheet and bonus points in the victory over West Ham. There are lots of temptingly cheap Watford options springing up at the moment. Last week, Will Hughes, in only his second start, almost took the bargain award, and he added another eight points to his total this week. Interestingly, Watford have scored at least twice in every away game they’ve played this season. And I bet most managers would back the home defence for a clean sheet against them in most weeks. Don’t.

Bargain of the week – Charlie Austin – 13 points

There was little action on the striker front this week with only Austin bagging more than one goal. It’s his first start of the season after having only made a few minutes worth of substitute appearances in recent weeks. Saints had only scored four goals from open play before the weekend. If Austin can steer clear of the treatment room and cement a starting berth he should add to that total.

Twat of the week – Rajiv Van La Parra – -1 points

Waited until after the final whistle to engage in a bit of handbags with Leroy Sane, who can probably consider himself fortunate not to have a similar ban looming. With the amount of big point scoring midfielders active in the game at the moment we could do with the odd ban and/or injury being thrown in just to narrow down the choices a little bit.

Goal of the week – Xherdan Shaqiri.

Usually pops up with a few wonder goals per season (and little else). No vid though?!

Gameweek 23 preview

23 Jan 12:45 Norwich v Liverpool
23 Jan 15:00 Crystal Palace v Spurs
23 Jan 15:00 Leicester v Stoke
23 Jan 15:00 Man Utd v Southampton
23 Jan 15:00 Sunderland v Bournemouth
23 Jan 15:00 Watford v Newcastle
23 Jan 15:00 West Brom v Aston Villa
23 Jan 17:30 West Ham v Man City
24 Jan 13:30 Everton v Swansea
24 Jan 16:00 Arsenal v Chelsea


We’re a week away from the transfer window closing and teams are freshening up their squads. It’s resulting, as usual, in more players leaving than coming in, but there have been a few interesting additions that could spark some fantasy interest.

Charlie Austin is the biggest name (so far) to come in from elsewhere. He’ll likely start straight away in the continuing absence of Graziano Pelle, and can be bought for £7 million. Austin grabbed 18 goals and eight assists last season for QPR. Anywhere near half that would represent a good return.

Jonjo Shelvey’s value decreased over time during the first half of the season at Swansea. His switch to Newcastle could rejuvenate him. If one game is enough to go by, it already has. He was indirectly involved in both of Newcastle’s goals last week. Against a plummeting Watford side he could score some proper assist points. He’ll have to watch that temper of his though.

Bournemouth will be hoping that Benik Afobe is the goal getter they need to replace the long term injured Callum Wilson. He grabbed his first goal in his second start last weekend, and he’ll only set you back £6.1 million. They’re up against Sunderland tomorrow who haven’t kept a clean sheet in two months.

Also strengthening their forward options are Norwich with the purchase of Steven Naismith from Everton. Naismith is capable of a goal – he bagged a hat trick at 17 points in one week back in September – and can play anywhere across the front line. He’s good enough and to get an immediate start for Norwich and with a run of games could be a useful addition to a fantasy line up. Especially at just £5 million.

Following on from the scoring returns to action of Dimitri Payet and Sergio Aguero in recent weeks, Alexis Sanchez is in line for some gametime this weekend. His price as dropped during his injury lay off to £10.8 million. Mesut Ozil is definitely in line for an instant return after missing last Sunday’s game against Stoke. It is against Chelsea though. An despite Chelsea’s shit season, they did beat the Gunners back in September in the Mourinho days. A lot will probably depend on the battle between Diego Costa and the Arsenal defence. Costa’s been showing glimpses of goalscoring form and fantasy usefulness since Hiddink took charge. Might it be best to leave him benched this weekend?

Just a reminder about the Buckets Cup. The preliminary round starts in gameweek 28. Twenty teams will receive a bye into the first round proper in gameweek 29. Those teams are Sergio Five 0 as last year’s winners and the 19 highest scoring managers of the week. Thus far we have 18 different managers of the week. So as we stand if you’ve won a manager of the week award, you’ve got a bye. This will probably change. Go Buffoons Go!!!, Greensmeansbusiness, GrievousAngelRangel and Pretty Schitty City are the teams most at risk of losing their bye. They all won their MOTW prizes with scores in the 50’s. If you’ve set your sights on a cup victory, best post a high score soon to give yourself a head start.

Gameweek 38 and end of season results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 2,175
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 2,123
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 33 2,114
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 2,112
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 36 2,061
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 44 2,051
7 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 2,049
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 45 2,045
9 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 2,039
10 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 44 2,037
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 42 2,021
12 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 2,003
13 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 26 1,993
14 Ciderheads Darren Pope 33 1,966
15 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 45 1,953
16 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 41 1,939
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 47 1,903
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 50 1,901
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 33 1,881
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 59 1,876
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,837
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 40 1,834
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 1,830
24 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 1,788
25 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 32 1,758
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 41 1,744
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 39 1,723
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 32 1,617
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 21 1,357


A  typically ridiculous last day of the season. Some teams scored lots of goals. Some players scored lots of points, most of whom are nowhere near anyone’s fantasy squads. Of the players who made the weekly dream team line up, only Santi Cazorla appears among the season’s top points scorers. The last Arsenal payer you want scoring a hat trick is Theo Walcott – but he did – and from warming the bench and the treatment table all season has potentially played himself into contention for an FA Cup final start.

Our last weekly winners are Bermie United. Fittingly, their 63 points also secured the May manager of the month award. They didn’t make any transfers this week – they didn’t need to – they’ve been on a steady rise for the last couple of weeks. They’ve climbed 200,000 places in the overall game since gameweek 34, and finish in 7th overall.

1 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 279
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 263
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 262
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 235
5 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 231
6 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 229


In the race for the title, Neil Madrid hit a steady 57 points to secure the trophy with room to spare. The battle for the runners up spot went to Pescara who leapfrogged Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog nearly slipped to fourth behind Naboombu’s, who would have pinched third had they made Moussa Sissoko or Phil Jones their captain. But who in their right mind would have done that?

Player of the week – Theo Walcott – 20 points. Only his fourth start of the season

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 16 points. Finishes as Stoke’s top scoring player.

Donkey of the week – Marouane Fellaini – -2 points. Trying his hardest to keep Hull up.

Goal of the week – Jack Wilshere. Screamer. 1m46s.



Eden Hazard finishes as top player. He played every game, and pretty much every minute, scoring more bonus points than anybody else by some distance, yet interestingly never picked up a player of the week award. The best bargain player by some distance was Harry Kane. He’ll still only set you back £6 million. It did get as high as £6.5 but has dropped after a quiet few weeks. Burnley keeper, Tom Heaton, is the best value for money player. Ten clean sheets might be unprecedented by a relegated keeper. This includes three in his last three games – since they were relegated. Heaton is also one of six keepers to have saved more than one penalty this season. He also comes in at fourth in the overall saves table behind Fabianski, Adrian and Rob Green. Proving again that the more shots you’re likely to have to save – the better fantasy keeper you are.

Alexis Sanchez’s value increased the most over the season – by £1.1 million. Harry Kane’s had got to a £1.5 million increase before his recent slump. Hazard’s had increased to £1.4 million only two weeks ago. He played at the weekend, but most managers had shipped him out after reading the reports of his wonky wisdom teeth. Nathaniel Clyne and Stewart Downing had both increased in value by £1.2 million at various points of the season. Southampton, on the whole, offered up the best value for money players. Had you ignored the early season pundit predictions that they’d struggle, and picked three of Clyne, Ryan Bertrand, Jose Fonte, Fraser Forster or Graziano Pelle, you’d have got off to a blinding start. Don’t expect them to be so cheap next season.

RayCrawfordsCrackers unsurprisingly tinkered their way to the most manager of the week awards this season. They finished the week with the highest score six times, one less that the record they set last year. Shoelace were the only team to take more than one monthly award, winning the prize in October and March. The player of the week awards were much more evenly spread than last year. I’d be surprised if anyone beat Luis Suarez’s record of five from last season. Harry Kane finished as the highest scorer on three occassions.

Yannick Bolasie hit the highest weekly score of 24 points in gameweek 32 – a hat trick, an assist and all bonus marks against Sunderland. In gamweek 31 Christian Beneteke equalled the highest score up until that point with 23 points – a total that had already been achieved by Dusan Tadic in gameweek 8 – also against Sunderland. Also in gameweek 31, Charlie Austin bagged 21 points – our highest bargain player score. Unsurprisingly, gameweek 31produced our highest team score – 119 points by Pescara – who had both Benteke (c) and Austin in their team. Sergio Aguero and Sadio Mane, in gameweeks 36 and 37 respectively also posted 23 point weekly scores.

Sunderland’s Santiago Vergini hit the depths with a -4 weekly score in their 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Southampton. This included a cracking og that would easily be up for goal of the season, had it not been for the fact he volleyed it into the roof of his own net. Hull and Everton served up the most donkeys with four each. Kyle Naughton was our only double donkey this season whilst playing for Spurs. He now plays for Swansea.

Team of the season

  • GK – Lukasz Fabianski – Swansea City – 151 points
  • DR – Branislav Ivanovic – Chelsea – 171 points
  • DL – Ryan Bertrand – Southampton – 140 points
  • DC – John Terry – Chelsea – 170 points
  • DC – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 142 points
  • MR – Alexis Sanchez – Arsenal – 207 points
  • ML – Eden Hazard – Chelsea – 233 points
  • CM – David Silva – Manchester City – 191 points
  • CM – Santi Cazorla – Arsenal – 168 points
  • AT – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 216 points
  • AT – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 191 points

Bargains of the season (with season starting value)

  • GK – Tom Heaton – Burnley – 150 points – £4.5 million
  • DR – Nathaniel Clyne – Southampton – 142 points – £5 million
  • DL – Neil Taylor – Swansea City – 109 points – £4.5 million
  • DC – Joleon Lescott – West Bromwich Albion – 127 points – £5 million
  • DC – Ashley Williams – Swansea City – 118 points – £5 million
  • MR – Nacer Chadli – Tottenham Hotspur – 160 points – £6 million
  • ML – Stewart Downing – West Ham United – 160 points – £5.5 million
  • MC – Gylfi Sigurdsson – Swansea City – 154 points – £6 million
  • MC – Ki Sung-Yeung – Swansea City – 129 points – £5 million
  • AT – Charlie Austin –  Queens Park Rangers – 176 points – £6 million
  • AT – Graziano Pelle – Southampton – 149 points – £7.5 million


That’s it. Seventy odd days till we start again. Check the Roll of Honour and Prize Money links for full season breakdown. I’ll be in touch with the winners regarding payment of prize money over the next few days.

Well done everyone.


Gameweek 34 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 71 1,940
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 73 1,905
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 66 1,898
4 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 60 1,855
5 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 50 1,850
6 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 1,849
7 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 72 1,846
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 60 1,824
9 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 52 1,818
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 57 1,810
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 64 1,799
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 56 1,770
13 Ciderheads Darren Pope 49 1,767
14 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 58 1,745
15 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 80 1,741
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 65 1,740
17 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 55 1,733
18 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 59 1,730
19 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 61 1,699
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 53 1,692
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 55 1,667
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 58 1,650
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 68 1,615
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 72 1,610
25 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 45 1,585
26 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 57 1,574
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 64 1,557
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 51 1,500
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 39 1,217


Well that gameweek didn’t exactly live up to it’s expectations. Calculate a mini league out of the four teams playing twice and you’d unexpectedly have Hull at the top and frustratingly for most of us, find Liverpool at the bottom. The average score worldwide was only 52 points. In most double gameweeks the majority of managers are normally pushing 100. I suspect that if we’d all taken a punt on a few more Hull players maybe some of the 60’s and 70’s that were prevalent among Buckets managers would have been transformed into 80’s and 90’s. No-one would have predicted that the top scoring players of the week would be Michael Dawson and Steve Harper. No-one did. Probably anywhere other than Hull. There were seven clean sheets from the six matches involving Chelsea, Leicester, Hull and Liverpool – including two 0-0 draws. Whereas we expect to see midfielders and attackers prosper over double gameweeks, this time it was defenders and goalies on top.

Our manager of the week was Pretty Schitty City. PSC went the Chelsea Leicester route. Cahill and Terry managed double figure scores from a clean sheet each, a goal and assist between them, and a couple of bonus marks (for Terry). Cesc Fabregas picked up eight points courtesy of one assist in the Leicester match. Their best player was Jamie Vardy. Vardy was a popular cheeky alternative on the captain front and didn’t disappoint. He contributed 24 of PSC’s 80 points. Eden Hazard returned a fairly measly 5 points, and only Martin Skrtel made it out of double figures for Liverpool.

Second highest score of the week was a 73 by Pescara Rangers and that was enough to secure April manager of the month. It was never really in doubt. Pescara could have scored as low as the high 50’s and still nicked the award.

1 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 73 282
2 Van Damme United P Hawkins 64 266
3 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 60 262
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 66 254
5 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 71 251
6 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 72 241


Pescara’s 73 didn’t really close much of a gap on Neil Madrid at the top. It did lift them back into second place over Hedgehog’s, but other than that all of the top 11 teams remain in the same position as they were last week.


Player of the week – Michael Dawson – 21 points. Scoring half as many points again as he already had.

Bargain of the week – Steve Harper – 19 points. More than doubling his total.

Donkey of the week – Charlie Austin – -1 points. A crucial missed penalty

Goal of the week – Ramires. Shit week on the goal front too. 

Gameweek 31 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 78 1,767
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 119 1,742
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 95 1,739
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 95 1,705
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 63 1,685
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 89 1,682
7 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 66 1,674
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 42 1,666
9 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 57 1,662
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 42 1,643
11 Ciderheads Darren Pope 41 1,621
12 Van Damme United P Hawkins 77 1,610
13 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 57 1,604
14 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 52 1,586
15 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 45 1,585
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 48 1,577
17 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 52 1,575
18 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 45 1,570
19 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 82 1,558
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 39 1,528
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 36 1,524
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 54 1,504
23 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 39 1,476
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 38 1,446
25 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 64 1,440
26 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 36 1,435
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 31 1,394
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 44 1,328
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 41 1,129


It was a week in which so much happened, and due to me going away for a few days, I’ve got to try and cram it all into a few sentences. There probably won’t be a gameweek 32 preview.

Our highest weekly score bar has been raised again. Pescara’s 119 points will be tough to beat. They took a punt on a Benteke/Austin forward partnership and it paid massive dividends. Those two players alone scored 67 points. I think they were the only Buckets team to play both forwards, and making Benteke captain yielded 46 points – more than some teams total scores. They leapfrogged Hedgehog into second and reduced the gap at the top of the table to 25 points.

The damp squib of a QPR/Villa double gameweek was anything but. QPR scored seven goals. It had previously taken them six gameweeks to do that. Christian Benteke scored all four Villa goals. It had previously taken him 14 gameweeks to do that.

Benteke as captain helped Hedgehog Corpse to victory over Neil Madrid in the cup semi final. Who R U beat Accrington Rudyard in a slightly less high scoring encounter to book their final berth. Neither Who R U or Accrington saw any benefit in the double gameweek. Only a handful of teams, it seems, took the risk. The top four all tried some combination or other of Villa/QPR, and they all moved past the 1700 point barrier this week. The gap between the top teams and the chasing pack is beginning to widen. There may still be twists and turns with one blank and two more double gameweeks to come in the remaining eight.

And then there’s the goal of the week. In a week in which every Arsenal goal, Cambiasso’s goal for Leicester, Bobby Zamora’s peach for QPR against West Brom, Jermain Defoe’s wonder volley in the Tyne Wear derby, Wayne Rooney’s volley against Villa and Bafetimbi Gomis’ overhead would probably have won – and maybe even contested goal of the season (particularly Defoe’s and Zamora’s) – we had Charlie Adam.


Player of the week –  Christian Benteke – 23 points. Equalling the highest weekly score of the season.

Bargain of the week – Charlie Austin – 21 points. Yes – still considered a bargain purchase at £6.5 million. Scored his 16th and 17th goals of the season which is a remarkable achievement.

Donkey of the week – David Meyler – -2 points. Off for a hideous tackle.

Goal of the week – Charlie Adam.