Gameweek 9 results

October 23, 2018

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 621
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
41 598
3  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 562
4  same Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 549
Adam Burnett
42 549
6  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
33 539
7  down Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
32 539
8  down King raggg
Steven Darling
36 539
9  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 533
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
40 531
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 529
65 524
13  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 522
14  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
34 517
15  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
46 512
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 508
17  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
55 496
18  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
39 496
19  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 492
20  up Kompany & Co
46 491
20  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
38 491
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
32 485
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
54 485
24  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
30 484
25  same FTM
Stu Smith
46 481
26  same CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
42 477
27  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
32 473
28  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
49 472
29  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 469
30  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
41 466
31  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
42 465
32  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
43 460
33  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
49 457
34  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
30 455
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 455
36  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
39 453
37 451
38  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 451
39  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
47 447
40  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 446
41  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
62 446
42  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 445
43  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
34 439
44  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
31 439
45  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
31 429
46  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
29 418
47  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 418
48  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
31 414
49  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
48 413
50  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
52 410
51  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
45 388
52  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
13 385


Manager of the week – Rico United – Jason Reacher – 65 points

Not a great week for scoring heavily with many of the top 10 stumbling and struggling to get over 40 points. Matt Doherty, as the most transferred in player, was bound to mess up and duly did, and he took the rest of the Wolves team down with him. Eden Hazard blanked and took a booking into the bargain and the uncertainty over the Liverpool line up ultimately didn’t mean that much with only a 1-0 win and a goal scored by the player vacating the most teams, Mo Salah. Rico made a charge from the pack and climbed toward the top 10 with a hard earned 65 points, given a last minute boost by a second consecutive brace off the bench by Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. He doesn’t need to start. Time to start squeezing Arsenal assets in to your team somehow.

There are lots of managers in with a chance of sneaking the October manager of the month, Rico included. Inevitably, Da Pitch are loitering. They extended their overall lead and now sit in the top 2,000 overall.

1  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 134
2  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 124
65 123
4  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 117
5  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 117
6  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 115
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 112
8  up FTM
Stu Smith
46 110
9  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 109
10  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 106
11  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 104
12  up Kompany & Co
46 104


Player of the week – Jordan Pickford – Everton – 15 points

It was only Everton’s second clean sheet. Many managers were dispensing of Pickford and Everton defenders with prices starting to drop, so they were bound to make you regret that decision sooner or later. It maybe wasn’t much of a surprise that it came against Palace though. They’ve only found the net five times this season.

Bargain of the week – Fernandinho – Manchester City – 14 points

This tends to happen once a season. Fernandinho will not score or assist or collect top bonus marks again for another year. Do not replace Eden Hazard with Fernandinho.

Twat of the week – Callum Chambers – Fulham – -1 points

Fulham are leaky. So leaky they let Cardiff score four against them. His score could have been much worse because he was lucky to escape a second caution. Every Fulham defender bar two has suffered a price drop so far this season – and one of those two hasn’t played a game yet.

Goal of the week – Riyad Mahrez. 9 minutes in. Ah Oui!



Gameweek 15 results

December 9, 2014

1 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 41 802
2 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 18 795
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 36 792
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 31 776
5 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 23 771
6 Ciderheads Darren Pope 30 765
7 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 36 753
8 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 39 751
9 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 32 749
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 49 746
11 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 16 739
12 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 45 736
13 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 35 723
14 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 29 721
15 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 24 702
16 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 25 702
17 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 22 684
18 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 31 678
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 27 675
20 Van Damme United P Hawkins 36 675
21 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 25 673
22 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 23 666
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 21 658
24 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 36 655
25 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 31 655
26 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 33 648
27 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 34 638
28 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 30 622
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 34 510


One of the lowest scoring weeks in FPL history (probably), yet one of the most incident packed. And congratulations if you managed to end the weekend without any of your payers injured or suspended.

And the reasons for the low scores. Lots.

Saturday saw three goalless draws, and one other team keep a clean sheet. Clean sheets from some players are like an unexpected bonus most of the time. Most of time you try your best to avoid even having to pick those type of players. This week was one of those weeks. Anyone who had more than one player from a combination of Hull, West Brom, Liverpool, Sunderland, Spurs, Palace or QPR  – well done – it won’t happen again.

I don’t suppose anyone expected Chelsea to lose. We’ve all been drawn in by the possibility of them going through the season without losing a game, and to think that it’d happen against a Newcastle side that were without key players –  well that didn’t seem plausible. Yet it did. Bonus points if you picked any of the Newcastle ball boys. Thank god for Cesc Fabregas, who of the Cheslea regulars came away with an assist and some bonus points. Shame about the booking that rules him out of the next game.

Which leads us on to the sendings off.

Five in total. I may have come off worse out of all of you. It’s not often I straight up reference my own team. I try to  keep the reviews and previews as neutral as possible, but for this week only, I need to spleen vent. I’ve done well to get out with 31 points. Pescara and Uriah’s didn’t even get past the 20 point mark. Both had Calum Chambers who was sent off for Arsenal and ended the week on -2 points. Uriah’s also had to contend with the dismissal of Lukasz Fabianski – who also finished on -2 – and is our weekly donkey. There were three other red cards this week. Paul Konchesky got his marching orders in Leicester’s game against Villa, but no-one seems to have him in their team, so lets not dwell on that. The other two sendings off, as well as Chambers, were in my team. Steven Taylor was sat on the bench, but that doens’t make it any easier for working out what to do next week. Charlie Austin at least managed to get a goal and assist before getting his second yellow. Again, not a complete disaster you might think, but I’m faced with five players out next week. Chambers, Austin, Taylor, Fabregas – and Sergio bloody Aguero.

As is everybody else. Probably. As little as we expected Chelsea to lose at Newcastle, no-one saw the FPL’s player of the moment crumpling into a heap after 7 minutes against Everton on Saturday evening. Those without, or even those that went for an alternative captain choice will be feeling smug. Early reports suggest a month out, which will upset City’s recent upturn in form, and makes the race for the December manager of the month very interesting. Most managers will have to make a change in their forward line for next week. One good thing is that you’re trading in the most expensive player in the game – so the league is your oyster.

Maybe you could trade in for one of the two highest scorers of the week. Back from the dead to win player of the week is Andy Carroll. West Ham are up to fourth. This is the team you go to when you start dropping your Southamton players. Can Carroll stay fit though? He’s been back for five games, played three full 90 minutes, and scored 25 points. You’d have plenty of change if you bought him in place of Aguero. Not so much if you opted for Robin Van Persie. Back from the dead to score his second double figure score in the last three weeks, RVP will still set you back over £12 million. It probably doesn’t seem like it, but he has started every game but the very first one, and has managed six league goals so far. I suppose he just seems a lot more interested in the last few weeks.

Uriah’s dismal score of 18 has allowed PSG to take over at the top. PSG reached 41 points, losing Chambers, Fabregas and Aguero. They were one of only three teams to surpass 40 points. Gaalacticos lost Chambers, Austin, Fabregas and Aguero, but ended on 45 points and finished second. Leading this week’s totals are Shoelace with 49 points. Lucky-ish Shoelace only lost Fabregas and Aguero with Taylor on the bench.


Player of the week – Andy Carroll – 16 points. West Ham spoilt for attacking options.

Bargain of the week – Alan McGregor – 15 points. Includes a penalty save and all the bonus marks

Donkey of the week – Lukasz Fabianski – -2 points. Unfortunate – might yet be rescinded.

Goal of the week – Diafra Sakho. West Ham really spoilt for attacking options. 2m40s in.


Gameweek 10 results

November 4, 2014

1 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 52 571
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 89 546
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 61 539
4 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 57 531
5 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 56 526
6 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 45 512
7 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 69 511
8 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 79 506
9 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 59 503
10 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 80 503
11 Ciderheads Darren Pope 56 502
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 50 499
13 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 51 498
14 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 495
15 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 51 493
16 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 491
17 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 67 489
18 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 47 454
19 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 67 449
20 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 37 445
21 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 55 431
22 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 46 430
23 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 43 429
24 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 33 425
25 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 425
26 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 53 424
27 Van Damme United P Hawkins 43 415
28 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 48 412
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 31 334


It wasn’t too hard getting Diego Costa to fit into your team. Sergio Aguero proved slightly harder, but after a bit of shifting around and an over reliance on Burnley defenders you finally managed it. Now you’ve got to figure out how on earth to squeeze Alexis Sanchez in there. Sanchez achieved his third consecutive double figure score and moved on to 70 points, becoming the highest scoring player across the whole game, overtaking Graziano Pelle, who held the top spot for one week only. Sanchez is the form player, but wasn’t the highest scoring player of the week. It was he and Callum Chambers that combined to down Burnley on Saturday. And it’s Chambers who ends with week with the highest total thanks to his clean sheet points and pipping his Chilean team mate to the top bonus marks.

Sanchez and Chambers combined to propel this weeks highest scoring team from sixth to second place in the league. Paris Spinks Germain finished the gameweek with 89 points, and have closed the gap on Uriah to 25 points. PSG were at a low of 13th just two gameweeks ago. Languishing even more, and also scoring big this week courtesy of the Arsenal duo are Shoelace. They were as low as 25th in week six. Their sensational run of four consecutive 60+ scores, culminating in this week’s 79 point total, puts them in eighth place, jumping seven places from 15th. Jumping six places are our second highest scoring team of the week, Neil Madrid. Their 80 points was accumulated thanks to Chambers (no Sanchez), and was ably assisted by Clyne and Bertrand’s obligatory clean sheet, Fabregas’ obligatory assist, Aguero’s obligatory goal and Eden Hazard. Nothing too obligatory about Hazard still – yet he sits fourth in the midfielder rankings and is quietly going about his business.


Player of the week – Callum Chambers – 18 points. Set for a continued run in the Arsenal back four with Debuchy still weeks from an expected return

Bargain of the week – Steven Fletcher – 13 points. His second weekly award.

Donkey of the week – Chris Smalling – -2 points. Is there no end to United’s defensive problems?

Goal of the week – Oscar. Bender.


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