Gameweek 31 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 78 1,767
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 119 1,742
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 95 1,739
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 95 1,705
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 63 1,685
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 89 1,682
7 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 66 1,674
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 42 1,666
9 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 57 1,662
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 42 1,643
11 Ciderheads Darren Pope 41 1,621
12 Van Damme United P Hawkins 77 1,610
13 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 57 1,604
14 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 52 1,586
15 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 45 1,585
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 48 1,577
17 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 52 1,575
18 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 45 1,570
19 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 82 1,558
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 39 1,528
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 36 1,524
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 54 1,504
23 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 39 1,476
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 38 1,446
25 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 64 1,440
26 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 36 1,435
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 31 1,394
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 44 1,328
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 41 1,129


It was a week in which so much happened, and due to me going away for a few days, I’ve got to try and cram it all into a few sentences. There probably won’t be a gameweek 32 preview.

Our highest weekly score bar has been raised again. Pescara’s 119 points will be tough to beat. They took a punt on a Benteke/Austin forward partnership and it paid massive dividends. Those two players alone scored 67 points. I think they were the only Buckets team to play both forwards, and making Benteke captain yielded 46 points – more than some teams total scores. They leapfrogged Hedgehog into second and reduced the gap at the top of the table to 25 points.

The damp squib of a QPR/Villa double gameweek was anything but. QPR scored seven goals. It had previously taken them six gameweeks to do that. Christian Benteke scored all four Villa goals. It had previously taken him 14 gameweeks to do that.

Benteke as captain helped Hedgehog Corpse to victory over Neil Madrid in the cup semi final. Who R U beat Accrington Rudyard in a slightly less high scoring encounter to book their final berth. Neither Who R U or Accrington saw any benefit in the double gameweek. Only a handful of teams, it seems, took the risk. The top four all tried some combination or other of Villa/QPR, and they all moved past the 1700 point barrier this week. The gap between the top teams and the chasing pack is beginning to widen. There may still be twists and turns with one blank and two more double gameweeks to come in the remaining eight.

And then there’s the goal of the week. In a week in which every Arsenal goal, Cambiasso’s goal for Leicester, Bobby Zamora’s peach for QPR against West Brom, Jermain Defoe’s wonder volley in the Tyne Wear derby, Wayne Rooney’s volley against Villa and Bafetimbi Gomis’ overhead would probably have won – and maybe even contested goal of the season (particularly Defoe’s and Zamora’s) – we had Charlie Adam.


Player of the week –  Christian Benteke – 23 points. Equalling the highest weekly score of the season.

Bargain of the week – Charlie Austin – 21 points. Yes – still considered a bargain purchase at £6.5 million. Scored his 16th and 17th goals of the season which is a remarkable achievement.

Donkey of the week – David Meyler – -2 points. Off for a hideous tackle.

Goal of the week – Charlie Adam. 



Gameweek 25 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 44 1,389
2 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 46 1,374
3 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 38 1,342
4 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 1,333
5 Ciderheads Darren Pope 58 1,326
6 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 38 1,317
7 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 47 1,315
8 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 52 1,313
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 43 1,305
10 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 55 1,301
11 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 48 1,300
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 56 1,292
13 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 48 1,286
14 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 43 1,280
15 Van Damme United P Hawkins 59 1,260
16 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 35 1,256
17 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 51 1,233
18 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 46 1,229
19 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 66 1,217
20 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 60 1,212
21 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 58 1,209
22 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 37 1,183
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 59 1,171
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 51 1,158
25 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 29 1,149
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 34 1,148
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 27 1,105
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 24 1,081
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 31 897


We’ve a new name on the roll of honour as The Mindless Morons top the weekly scores. Remarkably, six of their fifteen players didn’t even take to the field of play, but the nine that did amassed 66 points. They were one of the few to plump for Harry Kane as captain. Presumably the majority of us still think that this crazy run of goals is going to come to an end at some point. Again, he wasn’t top scorer for the week, but did manage his third consecutive double figure total.

It was a relatively low scoring gameweek, epitomised possibly by the fact that Chris Smalling ended up as the highest scoring player. Smalling strode off the bench after five minutes to replace Phil Jones and score with his first touch. He then bundled in another with his 50p head just before half time.

Dame N’Doye is our bargain buy of the week. It’s the first gameweek in which we’ve had a chance to look at some of the newly transferred in players. N’Doye scored and assisted to beat Villa, and ultimately cost Paul Lambert his job. Hull have been in desperate need of a goal scorer, so maybe N’Doye is that player. Of the new batch, only Jermain Defoe betters N’Doye’s statistics, although he has had a few more games in which to get up and running. It’s worth noting that the new Sunderland striker has scored two in his first four with an average of five points per game so far.

Theo Walcott and Daniel Sturridge are back in starting line ups and in among the points. Both contributed well to Arsenal and Liverpool’s victories on Tuesday night. Sturridge has picked up 14 points in 130 odd minutes of football since his return. Walcott’s figures are 18 points in 208 minutes. Both are gradually upping their gametime match by match, and injuries and lack of form among team mates could guarantee them more starting berths in the coming weeks. Although Mario did score the other night. But that should be of no concern to anyone who is playing this game properly.


Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 17 points. Probably the only time this will ever happen.

Bargain of the week – Dame N’Doye – 12 points. Another member for the cheap effective striker club?

Donkey of the week – Gareth Barry – -1 point. Making his seasonal appearance.

Goal of the week – Bobby Zamora. I don’t think he scuffed it.



Gameweek 32 results

1 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 30 1,802
2 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 30 1,768
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 19 1,765
4 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 41 1,755
5 Les Canaris David Spinks 39 1,741
6 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 33 1,678
7 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 26 1,674
8 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 34 1,672
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 34 1,648
10 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 34 1,644
11 Pimp My Side Jordan Raper 45 1,640
12 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 33 1,634
13 A Few Good Men Darren Pope 42 1,628
14 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 46 1,615
15 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 39 1,589
16 Release The Hounds 5 Paul Mitchell 30 1,567
17 Fancy a brouhaha? Ian Williams 28 1,540
18 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 26 1,528
19 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 32 1,524
20 Borussia HairBack Alex Ritchie 33 1,518
21 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 30 1,514
22 Body Issues FC Arron Fellows 40 1,507
23 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 29 1,478
24 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 57 1,405
25 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 39 1,403
26 Moxie XI Luke O’Shea 26 1,386
27 Lothersdale FC Simon Rider 24 1,374

It was one of those weeks. Maybe we’ve all taken our eye off the ball with the 5 team double gameweek coming up next week. Maybe managers have been shifting players into place in anticipation of that – players that just didn’t perform this week, or were never likely to perform. Manchester United play two games next gameweek. They played Manchester City this gameweek. Their hardest match of the season. I fancied a City win – and it happened. Only Phil Jones scored an almost worthy 4 points of their squad. And I dare say no-one had him. A lot of people appear to have moved a couple of Arsenal players into their teams. Mertesacker seemed like a popular choice. He’s their highest scoring defender, and still relatively cheap at 5.3 million. He got sent off. Annoying. There was the option of sticking or twisting on the Gareth Bale injury. Of those who twisted, Santi Cazorla seemed the popular choice. With a lack of high scoring United midfielders, both of Everton’s best midfielders suspended – and nothing of note in recent weeks from anyone in the Fulham or West Ham midfield – Cazorla was the only choice. He had a quiet one. Gervinho didn’t. Neither did Tomas Rosicky. Who’d have thought? Tomas Rosicky as player of the week. He’d obviously had a Friday night off the charlie.

And who scored way more points than anyone else this week? Good old Inter Ealing. Still languishing in a very Wiganesque way in and around our bottom bunch of teams – as they do season after season, but always with the ability to surprise. It’s their 2nd manager of the week award. And, trust me, Inter Ealing are still playing  I don’t know what brand of fantasy football they’re playing, but at least they’re still playing. And they may have hit upon an interesting tactic to win the weekly award. Their 57 point total – 11 points more than their nearest challenger – was made up largely of big scores from players with relegation threatened teams. We know the title’s all but won. There may be a mini battle on for the Euro spots, but there are still 10 teams in the relegation battle. And this week Benteke, Cisse and Shaun Maloney combined for 23 of Inter’s total points. If only Robert Snodgrass had been played instead of being benched. That could have bagged them an extra 5 points. Although that would make little difference to their league position. Inter Ealing are likely to finish bottom 4. But they do hold pole position in the race for April manager of the month. They don’t seem too tooled up for next weeks shenanigans. At present, only 2 of their 15 are double gameweekers. Phew! We can all breath easy.

  • Player of the week – Tomas Rosicky – 14 points. Back on the Peruvian next weekend Tomas. You’re messing up everyone’s end of season plans. 
  • Bargain of the week – Matthew Lowton – 14 points. As much of a revelation as Benteke, this kid. I hope they don’t go down.
  • Donkey of the week – Bobby Zamora – -2 points. Taking on the Joey Barton role for QPR this season. I have no idea why I still have this feeling they’ll stay up

Goal of the weekend

Will be pushing for the year end award. Lowton v Stoke. Watch from about 8m40s