Gameweek 16 results

How much longer before we’re completely rid of our Manchester City players? Raheem Sterling has exited close to a million teams in the last month and with that seen an almost half million pounds price drop. There comes a time when patience just becomes sheer stubbornness and stupidity. Let it go, let it go. And as for Kevin De Bruyne, the one asset we all thought we’d stick by… Just because he was dirt cheap in the first place, shouldn’t mean he’s not replacable when the points dry up. He doesn’t look quite so cheap now when you compare his current form to that of Son and Alli, or even Jonjo bloody Shelvey. It is Arsenal this weekend though?!

It was a good week for Locky’s at the top, re-establishing a lead with the highest score in the top ten. It looks like the Spurs bandwagon has been well and truly jumped upon by a number of teams, most notably our leaders and Atletico Chappers, who leap up into third – possibly their highest placing ever. Chappers opted away from Vardy as captain and chose Harry Kane, who posted only his second double digit score of the season – the first being in GW1. Smooth.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
79 1007
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
67 963
3
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
72 945
4
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
46 944
5
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
68 938
6
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 935
7
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
54 927
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
75 922
9
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
66 920
10
Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
66 910

Our monster score of the week, however, came from Kebab Eaters, who despite being down in 33rd place are on a bit of a roll. They’ve climbed 3.5 million places in the last seven weeks, managing consecutive green arrows. This 94 point haul was in among the top 20k worldwide and was miraculously made up of a five man defence in a week in which only four teams kept clean sheets. Standard captain plus a nice smattering of Spurs players, which I imagine may increase over the coming weeks, also saw them race into early contention for the December monthly prize.

Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 94 points

Player of the week – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 16 points

Bargain of the week – George Baldock – Sheffield United – 14 points

Twat of the week – Matt Targett – Aston Villa – -1 points

Goal of the week – Heung-Min Son. 

Gameweek 38 and May Manager of the Month

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 2448
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
63 2406
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
55 2381
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
62 2344
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 2323
6  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
58 2314
7  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 2269
8  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
69 2259
9  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
70 2219
10  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
40 2218
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 2216
12  same FTM
Stu Smith
67 2190
13  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
56 2171
14  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
78 2163
15  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 2150
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 2144
17  up King raggg
Steven Darling
68 2144
18  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
53 2137
19  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 2122
20  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 2113
21  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
49 2104
22  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
45 2091
23  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
36 2086
24  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
68 2080
25  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 2068
26  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
72 2067
27  up SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
80 2063
28  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
39 2060
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
44 2047
30  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
48 2042
31  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
63 2037
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
39 2031
33  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
77 2025
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
68 2013
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
65 1999
36  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
67 1999
37  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
93 1998
38  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
31 1995
39  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
88 1995
40  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
76 1978
41  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
53 1964
42  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
61 1962
43  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
68 1961
44  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
60 1934
45  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
52 1924
46  same Morningblues
Jeff Morning
58 1901
47  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
55 1876
48  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
66 1871
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
56 1796
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
60 1714

 

May Manager of the Month – Queen of the North – Dorine Reacher – 76 points

The two week sprint to become May manager of the month was won by Queen of the North. Despite racking up some big totals over the season and winning three weekly awards (the joint highest), consistency was lacking. They won by a point, playing their free hit and bench boost in the last two weeks. A curious decision which only just worked.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 93 points

Chappers’ season panned out in a similar fashion to QOTN’s. Occasional mega totals were lost in among a sea of guff. This is also their third weekly triumph. They challenged for the highest weekly score prize with a 121 point total in GW35 and won the February manager of the month off the back of an 86 point haul in GW27 – the 1,226th best score in the world that week. Chappers regularly jumped a million in rank one week only to plummet back to where they started the next.

Player of the week – Nathaniel Mendez-Laing – Cardiff City – 16 points

Only 3,002 players benefited from Mendez-Laing’s weekly high in the entire game. He claims Cardiff’s fourth weekly player accolade, two more than the “team” they beat this week, Manchester United. In fact, United only managed two player awards, joint equal lowest with Fulham and Huddersfield. Cardiff went down on a deserved high given the tragedy that beset them earlier in the season.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

Schar’s third player award – one more than Manchester United. An impressive return for a cut price Newcastle defender who only played two thirds of the season’s games. Newcastle were on the right side of a typical GW38 thumping with the Swiss scoring, keeping a clean sheet and collecting top bonus.

Twat of the week – Jose Holebas – Watford – -4 points

Picked up the first twat of last season and the last of this – plus a few more in between I think. This list isn’t complete without an appearance from Jose. Well done son. You made it.

Goal of the week – Jefferson Lerma. Screamer 1m48s.

Gameweek 28 results and February Manager of the Month

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
54 1750
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1748
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
78 1738
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 1699
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 1681
6  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 1647
7  same FTM
Stu Smith
58 1641
8  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1639
9  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
43 1600
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1600
11  down King raggg
Steven Darling
37 1590
12  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
41 1588
13  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
50 1588
14  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
62 1579
15  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
39 1560
16  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
63 1557
17  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
49 1552
18  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
46 1551
19  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 1549
20  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 1541
21  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
43 1538
22  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
46 1524
23  same Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 1523
24  same Cookie fc
Peter Cook
50 1510
25  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
79 1503
26  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1496
27  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
46 1489
28  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
60 1479
29  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
50 1470
30  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 1470
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
48 1470
32  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
53 1469
33  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
52 1468
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 1462
35  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
70 1460
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
84 1456
37  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
44 1456
38  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
43 1454
39  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 1445
40  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
35 1440
41  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1429
42  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
58 1423
43  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
38 1419
44  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
58 1405
45  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
67 1397
46  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
28 1394
47  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
69 1383
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
53 1327
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
51 1295
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
62 1241

 

Top of the league – But Da Pitch Ain’t 1 – Trev Reams – 1750 points

Da Pitch still hold the lead, but it’s only a slender two points over the surging Craggy Islanders who are on the hunt for the second title. Perfidious sit third and only ten points further back after a resurgent week, and although not completely out of touch and out of contention for the title, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing will need near perfect run-ins to catch those sides ahead of them. And we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of INIT, FTM or Shoelace sneaking into fourth place. We’re entering silly season, as the blank and double gameweeks begin to form and chip tactics come into play. We’re faced with only five fixtures in GW31 and the likelihood of a similar figure in GW33, depending on the outcome of the next round of the FA Cup. Already Manchester United have had two of their fixtures rearranged and moved to the middle of gameweeks 32 and 35. Expect the other successful cup teams to see their fixtures moved to the same midweek slots. Of the leading contenders, The Craggy Islanders, Perfidious Albion, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing have all of their chips and their wildcard remaining. Da Pitch just have their chips to play. FTM Have their wildcard but bench-boosted in GW10, whereas INIT have no wildcards or triple captain and Shoelace have no wildcards or free hit. Negotiating the next few weeks could be tricky without at least one of the wildcard or free hit still in the bag. And it shouldn’t all be about the leaders, as a perfectly played strategy of wildcards and chips could hand any team anywhere in the league any of the next three manager of the month awards. It might also be something the semi-finalists of the Buckets Cup want to consider…

Buckets Cup quarter finals

Although maybe not in the case of The Craggy Islanders or Neil Madrid who probably have their eyes on a bigger prize. And that may play into the hands of Fake Madrid and Kebab Eaters who are the other two teams to progress to the last four. The Islanders beat Da Pitch as Madrid saw off FTM in the two top ten clashes. The Islanders will play Fake Madrid, who beat El Loco No Joko, who inexplicably kept Virgil Van Dyk and Sergio Aguero on the bench?!?!?!? Kebab Eaters edged past Mour Salt and Pep to face Neil Madrid. It could be a Madrid derby final.

February manager of the month – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 309 points

Thanks to their top 2,000 in the world weekly score of GW27 and consolidating with a steady 50 pointer this week, Chappers pinch the February prize. I’m not sure they were really in it at all before hitting the dizzy heights at the weekend. They have Gerard Deulefeu to thank and did so by benching him for their hammering at the hands of Liverpool last night.

Manager of the week – Queen Of The North – Dorine Reacher – 84 points

A week for defenders this week and QOTN lined up two of the big scorers – Schar and Robertson – in their team. They amassed 43 points from those two and their other defender, Ashley Young, who chipped in with a goal, and their keeper, Allison. They wouldn’t be picking up this award however had it not been for a Marko Arnautovic no-show. Although quite what Sadio Mane was doing warming the bench is anyone’s guess given his present run of form of six goals in six games.

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dyk – Liverpool – 20 points

It would have been 51 points had Van Dyk been lined alongside them in a triple up Liverpool defence. It’s not a ludicrous idea given that they’re three of the six highest scoring defenders in the game and that Liverpool have more clean sheets than anyone else so far this season. They could surpass 20 which would be a great achievement. It bodes well for the weeks ahead in which Liverpool play every week. They have no doubles, but they also have no blanks.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

There aren’t many players with two weekly player awards so far this season. Fabian Schar is probably the most unexpected recipient. A clean sheet and a wondergoal always equals top bonus. Newcastle will play the blank gameweek in 31, and have other potential clean sheet matches between now and then.

Twat of the week – Kieran Trippier – Tottenham Hotspur – -1 points

A wonderful own goal that totally wrong footed Hugo Lloris, a World Cup winning captain no less. Tottenham’s meltdown might have started a few weeks earlier this season.

Goal of the week – Fabian Schar.

Gameweek 27 results

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
30 1696
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
52 1682
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
36 1660
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
37 1634
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
61 1622
6  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 1593
7  up FTM
Stu Smith
46 1583
8  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
30 1576
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
36 1557
10  up King raggg
Steven Darling
47 1557
11  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
41 1547
12  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
38 1538
13  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
34 1536
14  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
31 1521
15  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
62 1517
16  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
25 1506
17  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
45 1505
18  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
45 1503
19  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
41 1495
20  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
36 1494
21  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
32 1478
22  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
48 1476
23  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
33 1466
24  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
25 1460
25  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
28 1458
26  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
41 1443
27  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
32 1424
28  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
49 1422
29  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
44 1420
30  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
86 1420
31  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
37 1419
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
36 1416
33  same The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
42 1416
34  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
48 1413
35  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
39 1412
36  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
44 1411
37  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
50 1405
38  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
28 1395
39  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
41 1392
40  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
37 1390
41  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
38 1381
42  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
45 1373
43  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
46 1372
44  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
29 1366
45  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
40 1347
46  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
66 1330
47  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
41 1318
48  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
32 1274
49  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
31 1244
50  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
38 1191

 

Buckets Cup 2nd round

It was a low scoring week all round and there wasn’t much to choose between any of the second round ties as a result. We had our first count back to decide a game. INIT and Da Pitch couldn’t be separated by goals, bonus or assists, so in a rule I just made up this afternoon Da Pitch progress due to scoring more points in the last round. Sorry INIT – unless you were willing to meet and fight then I figured this was the fairest way of doing things. Da Pitch advancing sets up a juicy looking quarter final match up against the Craggy Islanders who are hot their opponent’s heels at the top of the league table. We’ve also seen our first score to nil in the Buckets Cup. Thelma And Luiz, it seems, are no more. They’ve disappeared from the league and so Neil Madrid progress with the lowest winning score of the round.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 86 points

The worldwide average was only 35 points this week – a score that most Buckets teams hovered in and around. Atletico Chappers’ 86 point haul is twice as many as most other teams in the league and sees them climb 12 places into 30th – a (possibly) unprecedented leap at this stage of the season. Chappers brought in Gerard Deulefeu last week, obviously in anticipation of him posting the highest individual score of the season thus far, with his hat trick, assist and big bonus contribution for Watford against Cardiff. It’s not like there weren’t goals around this week. Six goals and four clean sheets in a week in which saw an average of three goals a game isn’t totally out of the ordinary. There were just too many blanks from the game’s elite bunch.

Player of the week – Gerard Deulefeu – Watford – 23 points

He’s literally done nothing for eight gameweeks. From what I can see, only two Buckets teams had him. You can probably pick them out. Apparently three players in the whole of the game had the gumption to triple captain him. Sometimes mad people are lucky.

Bargain of the week – Troy Deeney – Watford – 15 points

Unsurprisingly the other must-have player came from the same game. Deeney hasn’t done anything for seven gameweeks since his brace against Bournemouth. Only one Buckets team had him from what I can see. It’s not either of the teams with Deulefeu, so you should be able to work out which one that is as well.

Twat of the week – Tommy Smith – Huddersfield – -3 points

I’m running out of disparaging things to write about Huddersfield twats. Sent off in the 23rd minute. I imagine there weren’t too many managers suffering as a result of this. Does anyone own a Huddersfield defender anyway?

Goal of the week – No idea, was there one?

Gameweek 18 results

1 same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
43 1126
2 same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
56 1119
3 same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
52 1101
4 down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
50 1099
5 up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
87 1067
6 down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
51 1064
7 up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
70 1063
8 down Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
54 1060
9 down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
53 1047
10 down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
43 1042
11 up FTM
Stu Smith
76 1036
12 same King raggg
Steven Darling
68 1029
13 down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
53 1027
14 same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
61 1025
15 down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 1008
16 up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 997
17 down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
41 990
18 same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
53 985
19 up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
80 979
20 down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
59 978
21 down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
51 967
22 up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
80 967
23 down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
46 959
24 same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
59 959
25 down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
47 953
26 up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
85 949
27 down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
44 948
28 down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
58 947
29 up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
73 945
30 up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
67 940
31 down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
45 936
32 up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
70 934
33 up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
72 934
34 up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
64 932
35 down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
61 929
36 down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
50 928
37 up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
63 923
38 down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
42 923
39 up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
77 914
40 up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
84 906
41 down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
37 904
42 down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
57 901
43 up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
62 886
44 down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
58 885
45 down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
50 880
46 up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
51 839
47 down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
26 833
48 down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
36 829
49 up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
89 822
50 down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
61 819
51 same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
54 758

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 89 points

Another week for the Salah owners. And the Aubameyang owners. And the Kane owners. Not the Sterling owners or the Hazard owners. Or the Sane owners. Chappers’ hit the heights with an Auba/Kane forward combo and an early punt on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer getting the best out of Paul Pogba. So far so good. Who’d have expected City and Chelsea to get beat at home by the opposition they had to face this weekend? Evil fantasy league. There’ll be a lot of very frustrated managers kneejerking on Christmas night.
Player of the week – Heung-Min Son – Tottenham Hotspur – 21 points

He’s off to the Asian Cup in January, so this might mean Pochettino’s going to have him playing every game to get the most out of him until his departure. It could be a long time without him as well with South Korea very likely to reach the latter stages of the competition. So, until then – I think it’s maybe four more games – and they all pretty tasty and full of point scoring potential. If they can stick six past Everton, how may are they going to get against Bournemouth, Wolves, Cardiff and Huddersfield?
Bargain of the week – David Brooks – Bournemouth – 15 points

Sold him this week to bring in Hazard. Evil fantasy league. Might have to get him back in this week to facilitate Salah. Kneejerk. Hazard hat trick against Watford guaranteed.
Twat of the week – Lewis Dunk – Brighton And Hove Albion – -2 points

Christmas off. Well done Lewis.
Goal of the season – Andros Townsend.