Gameweek 32 and March manager of the month

1  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
98 2001
2  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
89 1993
3  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
79 1974
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
103 1932
5  up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
96 1909
6  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 1896
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
106 1866
8  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
77 1845
9  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
120 1837
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
94 1828
11  down FTM
Stu Smith
65 1823
12  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
94 1809
13  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
83 1805
14  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
71 1804
15  same Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
89 1801
16  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
117 1783
17  same RICO UNITED
80 1759
18  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
90 1756
19  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
78 1754
20  down King raggg
Steven Darling
58 1748
21  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
93 1737
22  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
93 1736
23  up Kompany & Co
87 1730
24  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
90 1727
25  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
56 1707
26  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
73 1706
27  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
106 1696
28  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
95 1693
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
59 1690
30  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
91 1679
31  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
93 1675
32  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
71 1662
33  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
71 1656
34  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
100 1655
35  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
53 1646
36  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
57 1636
37  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
65 1633
38  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 1631
39  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
48 1628
40 1624
41  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
85 1621
42  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
70 1615
43  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
62 1611
44  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
69 1600
45  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
68 1584
46  down Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
51 1575
47  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
54 1544
48  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
48 1540
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
57 1463
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
61 1408


March manager of the month – Ayaj Supeda – FC Caligula – 270 points

One of a lowly seven triple figure totals in a frustrating double gameweek took Caligula over the line to the March manager prize.

1  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
106 270
2  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
83 264
3  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
93 262
4  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 261
5  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
120 258
6  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
68 257
7  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
94 257
8  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
89 255
9  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
98 253

Caligula played the free hit. Their closest challengers all went with the triple captain. Bullens will be cursing their luck the most, opting to put the armband on Raheem Sterling who returned absolutely nothing other than his appearance points for the one game he took part in. Calilgula also punted on Sterling – who didn’t? He wasn’t the only heavily backed double gameweeker who only made a single appearance. It was Aymeric Laporte, for the second consecutive Manchester City double gameweek, who impressed the most, and contributed the highest score to Caligula’s total.

Manager of the week – Sean Whyton – Rip Roaring Reds – 120 points

The Reds equaled the highest weekly gameweek score but only scored four goals from their bench-boosted squad. They needed to better the nine goals scored in the first double gameweek of the season by Shoelace to claim the highest score prize. Had they banged in nine they’d be outright leaders posting a potential 150 point weekly score.

Player of the week – Christian Eriksen – Tottenham Hotspur – 20 points

One of the few elite players to play both games and contribute in both, although Spurs assets weren’t all that heavily backed overall, certainly in comparison to those of City, United and Chelsea. Maybe that was to do with their tricky opening fixture against Liverpool. More was expected of United. City seemed happy to do the bare minimum and Chelsea, despite two victories, looked more convincing in their second fixture. Or was that just to do with the fact that Eden Hazard put in his monthly big performance?

Bargain of the week – Ruben Loftus-Cheek – Chelsea – 19 points

Hazard featured in most free hit squads. Punting on Ruben Loftus-Cheek would have earned you four more points for nearly £6 million less. Hazard was all set for the goal of the week nod until he was out-Hazarded by his younger team mate with the sumptuous curler that killed the game against Brighton.

Twat of the week – Ashley Young – Manchester United – -1 points

Indicative of Manchester United’s poor double gameweek return. No clean sheets was bad enough. Add to that only a single appearance by their most popular defensive pick, Victor Lindelof. Rashford and Martial impressed in the first game but neither started the second. Worst of all, Ashley Young received two quick yellows to end up on his minus score.

Goal of the week – Ruben Loftus-Cheek. 8m27s in.

Gameweek 14 results – November manager of the month

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
46 837
2  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 808
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
60 805
4  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
63 800
5  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
55 799
6  same Kompany & Co
63 789
7  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 779
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 772
9  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
44 761
10  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
61 760
11  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
52 758
12  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
67 756
13  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
55 753
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
39 752
15  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
47 748
16  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
53 742
17  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
45 740
18  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
38 727
19  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 725
20  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
50 724
21  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 714
22  down Queen of the north
39 712
23  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 711
24  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
55 711
25  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
46 710
26  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
55 709
27  down Rico united
44 709
28  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 707
29  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
54 703
30  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 700
31  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
48 697
32  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
42 696
33  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
60 695
34  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
58 695
35  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
64 692
36  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
48 692
37  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
42 684
38  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
35 680
39  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
61 677
40  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
42 676
41  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
38 672
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
30 658
43  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 657
44  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
59 657
45  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
27 653
46  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
36 628
47  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
37 626
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
43 616
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
56 597
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 522


November manager of the month – Greenyteamy – Adam Greenwood – 283 points

Greenyteamy’s monster scores in the first two weeks of the month put them so far out in front it was difficult to see how anyone could catch them. Despite a slight slip up last week, another impressive score this week – only four behind the week’s best – made sure of their monthly victory. Their four week run has seem them leap from twenty-fourth to fourth and into that pack chasing down the Hornets, who still hold a 31 point lead at the top.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 67 points

Up into 12th and finishing 3rd in the November table Chappers have also made great strides in the last few weeks climbing from 37th at the end of October. They’ve tried out, and I suppose, been kind of successful, with a rotation of Watford captains for the last four weeks. Either Richarlison or Abdoulaye Doucoure are handed the armband and between them have picked up 4, 12, 6 and 6 points. There have been better options as captain, particularly with Mohamed Salah, Jamie Vardy and Marcos Alonso as ever presents. But had Chappers picked the best scoring of their Watford players each week, they’d have notched scores of 14, 12, 16 and 14 and that would have outscored Harry Kane and Romelu Lukaku combined. So there is some method to this madness.

Player of the week – Mesut Ozil – 17 points

January is approaching so it’s time for Ozil (and Sanchez) to start giving a shit. Since gameweek nine he has scored two and assisted five Arsenal goals. Yet, in that time he has been transferred OUT of more teams and has seen his value drop to £9.3 million. It’s still not all that cheap for a player so unpredictable and there is so much competition in the midfield, but with only a 1.8% (1.8%??!?!?!?!) ownership, having this guy in your team could work in your favour. Nobody else will be scoring those points

Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 15 points

Watch this value rocket in the coming weeks. Young started the season as a £5 million midfielder and only made his first appearance in gameweek 5 coming in to plug the hole in United’s left back area. He’s been an ever present since that game and has been a stand-out performer in recent weeks. The last three have garnered two goals, two assists, six bonus points and 29 points overall. It’s tricky to second guess managers and who knows what’s going to happen as the December fixture pile-up kicks in, but he seems to have that position nailed at the moment. The potential is there for more, particularly when Jose opts to play with three at the back and pushes the wing backs further forward. It’s a shame we don’t get clean sheet points for his displays as well. He’d be an absolute must-have as a defender.

Twat of the week – Pablo Zabaleta – -1 points

Just when you thought Everton were the most massively under-achieving and overpaid wastes of money in the league – you’re reminded of West Ham. Zabaleta probably should have seen red after getting away with a worse challenge than the one that saw him pick up his yellow card. There is little sense in having a West Ham defender in your team.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.

Probably ten contenders. But as I rather stubbornly and unforgiving think any footballer worth their salt should be able to kick the ball into an empty net from 60 yards (Rooney) or run with a ball unchallenged for 60 yards (Lingard), I’ll give it to the most skillful goal of the (Tuesday) night. Goal at 2 minutes in.

Gameweek 32 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 49 1,816
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 51 1,793
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 44 1,783
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 51 1,756
5 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 65 1,747
6 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 60 1,722
7 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 35 1,720
8 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 45 1,719
9 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 43 1,705
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 52 1,695
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 78 1,688
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 65 1,669
13 Ciderheads Darren Pope 48 1,669
14 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 50 1,636
15 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 53 1,634
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 55 1,628
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 51 1,621
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 61 1,619
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 42 1,617
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 55 1,583
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,571
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 41 1,545
23 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 40 1,516
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 59 1,505
25 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 56 1,491
26 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 48 1,488
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 53 1,447
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 78 1,406
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 26 1,155


This seasons winners of the Buckets Cup are….Who R U. The league newcomers overcame Hedgehog Corpse in the final by 50 points to 44. Hedgehog scored three goals to Who R U’s one, but kept less clean sheets, made less assists and picked up less bonus points. Congratulations Who RU.

Manager of the week is Crazylegs. Another surprise seeing as how they gave up playing in week two. They and Van Damme United both collected 78 points – far and away the best scores of the week – but Crazylegs scored three goals to Van Damme’s two, and so claim the award.

Nothing much changed at the top. The top four all scored within seven points of each other, and around the average weekly score of 46 points. A couple of chasing teams scored well and both RayCrawfordsCrackers and *Your Ad Here* pulled themselves back into contention for a top four place. With a blank and a double gameweek to come before the end of April there is more than enough opportunity to catch the leading pack. Pescara won the last double gameweek with a 60 point swing on those scoring the average for the week, so even those teams in the high 1600’s should still consider themselves in with a chance.

Last week Christian Benteke equalled Dusan Tadic’s highest weekly individual score of 23 points. This week Yannick Bolasie beat it. Bolasie picked up all three bonus points for scoring three and assisting the other of Palace’s four against Sunderland. Glen Murray, who scored the fourth, is in even better form. That was his sixth in seven games and his third consecutive double figure total. He’s just pipped to the bargain buy of the week by Ashley Young, whose value of £4.9 million seems staggeringly low for that of a (now) regular attacking starter in a top three team. His reputation obviously still goes before him, as does that of Angel Di Maria who he’s keeping out of the team. Ten times more managers own Young than Di Maria.


Player of the week – Yannick Bolasie – 24 points. Can he hold onto the points record with two double gameweeks to come.

Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 14 points. None of United’s starting midfielders will cost you more than £8.5 million and all are scoring well.

Donkey of the week – Vincent Kompany – -1 points. Probably long overdue for his well below par season.

Goal of the week – Aaron Cresswell. Banging free kick. Shocking video.



Gameweek 1 results

1 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 62 62
2 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 61 61
3 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 56 56
4 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 54 54
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 53 53
5 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 53 53
7 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 51 51
7 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 51 51
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 50 50
10 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 49 49
10 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 49 49
10 Van Damme United P Hawkins 49 49
10 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 49 49
14 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 48 48
14 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 48 48
16 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 47 47
16 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 47 47
18 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 46 46
18 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 46 46
18 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 46 46
21 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 44 44
21 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 44 44
21 Ciderheads Darren Pope 44 44
24 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 40 40
25 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 38 38
25 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 38 38
27 Howay Man AFC Mark Bromham 36 36
28 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 31 31
29 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 27 27

Good to see the Premier League is still completely unpredictable. The two outright title favourites had the most convincing results, but even they didn’t necessarily have it all their own way, with Chelsea having to recover from a goal down, and City only sealing a more convincing looking victory than it actually was against Newcastle with a strike in injury time. Arsenal and Liverpool limped to victories against Palace and Southampton respectively, but despite this, the expensive midfield and attacking options of last season’s top four were where the majority of Buckets points were scored this week.

And where were United? Picking up from where they left off last year? Not even that. This time last year they faced Swansea in their opening game and beat them 4-1. Away. With that Moyes bloke in charge. So much for the revolution. So much for the new system which was dropped after 45 minutes.

And fantasy managers have been voting with their fingers and mouses and clicking and shit. Most transferred players out of fantasy teams as I write – top of the list (not including the crocked Ross Barkley) is Juan Mata. Also in the top twenty – Ander Herrera and Ashley Young. I’m prepared to give it another game or two. To think that United will continue on a losing streak against all three of the promoted teams (three of their next four games) does seem a little hard to believe. The were a number of good combos of those big name midfielders and attackers. As many as possible of Sterling, Fabregas, Ramsey, Silva, Aguero, Costa, Sturridge and Dzeko would have probably contributed between 20 and 30 points to your total. Rooney, the most popular pre-gameweek pick was the only United saving grace. As the most popular captain choice (we really were seduced weren’t we?) he guaranteed a fair amount of managers a double point score at least.

Top of the Buckets after week one are last years champs (in a different team name guise), RayCrawfordsCrackers, who finished with 62 points. Keeping the same name, and in second place, are last years runners up, Panza Grande, with 61. Panza were catapulted from mid table to second thanks to James Chester’s promotion from subs bench to starting line up following Ben Davies’ no show. Chester scored, kept a clean sheet and got top bonus marks in Hull’s victory over QPR. And became our first player of the week.


Player of the week – James Chester – 15 points. The only back three that worked.

Bargain of the week – Saido Berahino – 13 points. The Premier League’s leading goalscorer.

Donkey of the week – Kyle Naughton – -2 points. Took him 26 minutes to forget he’s not a keeper.

Goal of the week – Lee Cattermole – Sunderland v West Bromwich Albion. Place your bets. Will he end up with more red cards or goals come the end of the season? So rare are Cattermole goals, there’s no video for it anywhere on the world wide web.


Gameweek 4 results

1 The Magico Rob Buttaci 44 237
2 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 58 230
3 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 37 229
4 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 48 228
5 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 61 228
6 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 68 227
7 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 61 222
8 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 50 222
9 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 47 217
10 {Your Ad Here} Matthew Hopkins 51 214
11 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 52 212
12 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 57 212
13 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 46 207
14 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 48 203
15 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 48 197
16 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 40 197
17 Kedah FA David Spinks 59 194
17 pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 47 194
19 Ciderheads Darren Pope 48 191
20 Release the Hounds Paul Mitchell 40 190
21 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 38 189
22 Mid-Season Blip Paul Bentz 54 187
23 Have a little dink Ian Williams 51 186
24 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 39 172
25 Inter Minan Jordan Raper 27 166
26 Rien Toulouse Colin Goulding 46 161

It’s become clear after only 4 games that this Premiership season probably will, as many people thought, be the tightest for a while. All of last years top 4 have suffered defeat, and only Liverpool and Everton remain unbeaten. The goals still aren’t exactly flying in – only 20 this week – still below average – and seven teams kept clean sheets.

And no one team is making a charge in the Buckets. Two thirds of the teams in the league scored above average this week, posting somewhere between 47 and 68 points. Rip Roaring Reds hit 68 points, in a week where the substitute bench was key. There were a lot of last minute casualties and frustrating squad rotations – probably with European ties in mind.

Rip Roaring Reds always have a good week when Arsenal have a good week, and Olivier Giroud and Aaron Ramsey scored more than half of their points. The Arsenal striker has scored in every game and leads the way in the bonus, form and overall points charts. He’s great for fantasy league purposes. He’s Arsenal’s only out and out striker and has to start every week. Aaron Ramsey is Arsenal’s star man at the moment. Ramsey has bettered his goals total from last season already – and was this weeks best bargain buy.

Gylfi Sigurdsson also scored twice, and by virtue of his one clean sheet point, bagged the highest score of the week. It’s unlikely he’d have started had Erik Lamela’s brother not been kidnapped by gunmen in Buenos Aires. So for those of you (anybody?) with Sigurdsson in your team, you’ve some crazy carjackers to thank for that unexpected 16 points.

Player of the week – Gylfi Sigurdsson – 16 points. Not the most picked of Spurs’ midfielders, but at the moment, the most prolific.

Bargain of the week – Aaron Ramsey – 15 points. Vastly improved.

Donkey of the week – Kagisho Dikgacoi – -2 points. Should be diving bastard Ashley Young, but unfortunately rules dictate it’s the poor sod who was wrongly sent off for not fouling him.

Goal of the week – Aaron Ramsey. His first goal against Sunderland.