Gameweek 34 results

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
106 2069
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
107 2008
3  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
74 1985
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
91 1984
5  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
76 1982
6  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
81 1981
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
105 1980
8  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
99 1969
9  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
78 1940
10  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
112 1938
11  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
69 1933
12  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
83 1928
13  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
80 1925
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
65 1922
15  down Queen of the north
82 1916
16  down Rico united
83 1908
17  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
63 1889
18  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
113 1885
19  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
93 1882
20  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
73 1879
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
57 1872
22  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1870
23  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 1866
24  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1852
25  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1845
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
81 1837
27  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
89 1837
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
91 1834
29  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
75 1823
30  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
64 1818
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1812
32  up Kompany & Co
75 1807
33  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 1800
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
56 1799
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 1797
36  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
64 1791
37  same FTM
Stu Smith
73 1785
38  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
93 1783
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
80 1757
40  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
68 1717
41  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
73 1707
42  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
54 1705
43  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 1693
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 1687
45  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
82 1672
46  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
69 1648
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
90 1645
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
61 1572
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
72 1552
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
73 1449


Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 113 points

Only five 100+ scores in what was an underwhelming double gameweek. The highest scorers averaged not much more than what you’d expect from a single gameweek; and rotation, as it always does, reared it’s annoying, ugly head. Most managers played the week as best they could, utilising their bench boosts and triple captains, and most topped the worldwide average of 64 points, which is the highest of the season so far. The best Buckets team were the Kebab Eaters. Their 113 points was enough to climb them six places and within sight of the top 10. They bench boosted with Chris Smalling, Pascal Gross, Romelu Lukaku and Luca Milivojevic all among their XV.

The Vinegar Pissers stretched their lead at the top to 61 points and have gone top 10,000 in the world. They also topped the century mark. As did The Craggy Islanders, who are now in second, and FC Caligula, who now sit seventh. And like a Grand National finish, the favourites are taking their positions and getting ready to pounce in the final furlongs. Despicable Mee also rose another two places into fourth. The chipless Hornets dropped to third but did well not to lose too much ground and still post a respectable 74 points. Both Nashton and Brexiter, who didn’t use a chip this week, also scored well and despite dropping places aren’t out of the race. They do have one chip left each – their bench boost – surely lined up for GW37. The VPs, the Islanders and Despicable all have their triple captain remaining. But keep an eye on Caligula. They still have their free hit, probably primed for the upcoming week, and their triple captain, again no doubt ready for GW37. Some teams may be a player or two short for the coming week’s reduced schedule – Caligula can pick who they want.

Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 16 points

Man United defenders were always likely to be well positioned to score highly this week with two fixtures against West Brom and Bournemouth. It didn’t start well with a 1-0 loss to the bottom club. That prompted all kinds of unsettling hints from Mourinho about dropping players. Smalling played both games, perhaps underlining the fact he’s as guaranteed a starter as anyone at the moment. He also made up for conceding against West Brom by scoring against Bournemouth, earning back the clean sheet points he should never have lost in the first place.

Bargain of the week – Jan Bednarek – 13 points

Drafted in by Mark Hughes to make his Southampton debut out of sheer desparation – and it paid off – if you’re a fantasy manager and you’d taken the longest punt imaginable and plonked him in your squad. Only 6,000 managers have him in their team in the world and I imagine most of them aren’t playing any more. He may appear in a few more next week as he managed a goal and a clean sheet across his double gameweek appearances. He could come in very useful come GW37 when Saints play twice again and you want to save some money.

Twat of the week – Wayne Hennessey – 0 points

One of those weeks where no-one really earned the wooden spoon award. Hennessey conceded two and picked up a yellow, so he’s the worse player you could have picked. Palace don’t really keep clean sheets, so more fool you if you thought they would in this relegation scrap against their so called derby rivals.

Goal of the week – Any Carroll. 

Another double gameweek let down – given the amount of games you’d have expected at least one screamer. This was the best of a pretty lame bunch. 2m29s


Gameweek 8 results

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
37 498
2  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
55 478
3  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
60 475
3  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
33 475
5  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
72 473
6  down Kompany & Co
37 465
7  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
50 458
8  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
33 453
9  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
50 452
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
52 451
11  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
42 445
12  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 441
13  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 441
14  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
38 440
15  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
37 438
16  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 436
17  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
49 436
18  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
55 433
19  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
50 433
20  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
28 430
21  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
53 425
22  down FTM
Stu Smith
44 423
23  down Rico united
31 420
24  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
34 420
25  down Queen of the north
36 418
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
66 418
27  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
56 415
28  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
39 406
29  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 404
30  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
48 404
31  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
42 402
32  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
26 397
33  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
40 394
34  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
47 394
35  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
31 392
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
41 390
37  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
36 389
38  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
39 383
39  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
30 380
40  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 380
41  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
41 374
42  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
22 371
43  up disco dancer
darren frankland
45 370
44  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
26 366
45  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
29 365
46  up blakes11
Steven Darling
57 354
47  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
34 346
48  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
32 343
49  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
35 341
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
45 286


Manager of the week – Sean Whyton – Rip Roaring Reds – 72 points

A significant move of seven places up the league into the top five for the Reds. There have been may teams threatening to knock the Hornets off the top with bursts into the top 10 in recent weeks but none have succeeded. They maintain their 20-ish point lead as they have done for the last 6 gameweeks. Reds’ success came from spying Christian Eriksen’s slightly left field potential as a captain choice. As Harry Kane had another week off the Spurs midfielder picked up the big points from their paltry 1-0 win over Bournemouth.

Player of the week – Raheem Sterling – 15 points

Had to be a City player didn’t it? Sterling’s not even a guaranteed starter and still has more goals than Everton. It’s reached a stage where you don’t even necessarily have to worry if a City player starts on the bench. He’ll either come on and score or start next week and score.

Bargain of the week – Tammy Abraham – 13 points

A favoured cheap pick that’s starting to find his feet. The problem is whether you pick him week in week out or not. Presumably if he’s your third striker you’ve heavily invested in your midfield and they probably look better bets for consistent scoring.

Twat of the week – Andy Carroll – -2 points

Two elbows in 10 minutes is much worse than seven conceded in 90. Silly boy.

Goal of the week – Fernandinho, Take your pick of any of the City 7.

Gameweek 21 results

same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
78 1211
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
93 1202
down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
63 1186
same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
89 1166
same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
87 1161
up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
83 1134
up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
93 1132
up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1129
down Cooksters
Peter Cook
60 1126
10  down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
47 1120
11  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 1119
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
77 1117
13  same 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
67 1116
14  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
57 1111
15  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
78 1110
16  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
78 1106
17  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
48 1103
50 1095
19  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
58 1092
20  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1092
83 1080
22  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
71 1078
23  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
68 1075
24  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
93 1074
25  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
58 1069
26  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
54 1066
27  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
84 1053
28  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
91 1049
29  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
74 1049
30  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
60 1047
31  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
76 1045
32  same Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
67 1026
33  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
108 1023
34  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
57 1022
35  up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
74 1008
36  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
54 1005
37  down FTM
Stu Smith
43 1000
38  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
73 993
39  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
60 979
40  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 969
41  down Pepe Le Blue
45 969
42  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
53 950
43  up Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
72 940
44  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
87 939
45  up Dj daz
darren frankland
89 934
46  down Big White Chiefs
david frankland
49 933
47  down jetty city
scott mcgow
44 925
48  same bazza 28 united
laura barrett
69 902
49  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
66 893
50  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
52 873
51  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
32 847
52  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
55 845
53  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
51 819


There were plenty of big scores around this week thanks to many of our elite players and popular captain choices getting in among the points. Covincing wins for Chelsea, Arsenal and Spurs, all with clean sheets, almost guaranteed a good captain score. Unless you’d picked Diego Costa. If you’d plumped for any of the other usual suspects – Hazard, Pedro, Eriksen, Alli, Kane, Sanchez or Ozil – you’d have bagged yourself a good double figure total.

The most profitable of those was Harry Kane, whose patchy form has seen him drop in and out of teams all season. He’s on an upward slope at the moment with six in four. Cue a rush of transfers in ahead of next week, probably in place of Costa – probably ahead of his next dip in form.

Not many Buckets teams are carrying Kane at the moment. Release The Hounds are. They made him captain. They scored 108 points. It moves them up nine places in the league. It also guarantees them a place in the first round proper of the Buckets Cup. But best of all, it puts them in the lead for the highest weekly score, eclipsing The Craggy Islanders’ 104 points from gameweek 14. Congratulations to them. For now. Those double gameweeks aren’t far away.

If only RTH had Marcos Alonso in their defence. I suggested a few weeks ago the possibility of captaining a Chelsea defender. I don’t think anyone has been brave enough to do that yet. Two goals, a clean sheet and top bonus marks equals 21 points as a defender and that equals this seasons highest weekly player score. He’s a dream fanstasy defender, spending most of the time in the opposition’s third, yet racking up the clean sheet points that come largely courtesy of his buddies in the back three. But now at £6.5 million he’s going to be a bit of a squeeze to get in unless you’re willing to sacrifice elsewhere.


Player of the week – Marcos Alonso – 21 points. Two goals and a clean sheet>better than a hat trick.

Bargain of the week – Abel Hernandez – 13 points. Hull need this guy to stay fit.

Donkey of the week – Gareth McAuley – -3 points. Should have beena City player.

Goal of thew week – Andy Carroll. The GOTS contenders are coming thick and fast now.


Gameweek 17 preview

Crystal Palace v Chelsea
Middlesbrough v Swansea
Stoke v Leicester
Sunderland v Watford
West Ham v Hull
West Brom v Man Utd
Bournemouth v Southampton
Man City v Arsenal
Spurs v Burnley
Everton v Liverpool

As usual with the Christmas schedule, previews and resuts round ups are either very quick or written while drunk. You might find that the Christmas week games are all previewed and rounded up together. That might even include gameweek 20, which is the first gameweek of the New Year. Then there’s a big old gap of a fortnight while we get the 3rd round of the FA Cup out of the way. I’ll try to at least update on the December manager of the month.

For the remaining three weeks of the month, it’d be foolish to look anywhere other than (YAWN!) Chelsea. There may have been a few frustrated managers at Eden Hazard’s latest injury lay off, although he’s not exactly getting in among the points at the moment. Leading the Chelsea midfield form table is Cesc Fabregas, who appears to have patiently worked his way into his manager’s thoughts with some impressive substitute displays. He replaced Nemanja Matic from the start against Sunderland and duly got a goal. Could this be a permanent swap?

West Ham’s players haven’t featured in these previews too often this season. Improved performances have garnered four points from their last two games, including a clean sheet against Burnley and a close run thing against Liverpool. Their remaining December fixtures offer points potential. Andy Carroll and Dimitri Payet are the obvious ways in, although the latter comes at a price as you’d expect.

Gameweek 37 preview

07 May 12:45 Norwich v Man Utd
07 May 15:00 Aston Villa v Newcastle
07 May 15:00 Bournemouth v West Brom
07 May 15:00 Crystal Palace v Stoke
07 May 15:00 Sunderland v Chelsea
07 May 15:00 West Ham v Swansea
07 May 17:30 Leicester v Everton
08 May 13:30 Spurs v Southampton
08 May 16:00 Liverpool v Watford
08 May 16:00 Man City v Arsenal
10 May 19:45 West Ham v Man Utd
11 May 19:45 Norwich v Watford
11 May 19:45 Sunderland v Everton
11 May 20:00 Liverpool v Chelsea


The penultimate week of the season and the week that could decide the title. A double gameweek almost as epic as the last one with eight teams playing twice, and arguably five of those teams with something to play for. These final two weeks also make up the quick sprint that is the race to be May manager of the month.

Gameweek 34 produced 31 scores of 100 points or more, including the highest ever Buckets League weekly score. It’ll take a lot to beat the 190 points posted by The Kolarov Mane. If you think you need a triple captain to achieve that, think again. TKM used their bench boost and still outscored the rest of us. I’m not sure there are too many triple captain holders left. It’s certainly the chip that promises the most points, but as TKM proved, first and foremost, you need the right combo of double gameweek players.

FC Caligula, however, are one team yet to use their triple captain chip. If they get that right, and I’m guessing this is the week it’s going to be played, then the title is surely theirs. The obvious choices for the armband don’t appear as cut and dried as they did in gameweek 34. West Ham offer up the most in form players of those playing twice. Andy Carroll has scored six in six games, while Mark Noble as four in his last two.

Daniel Sturridge is starting much more regularly now for Liverpool following Divock Origi’s injury and Jurgen Klopp clearly not liking the Benteke option too much. Although he may opt for the Belgian if he think’s Sturridge’s European exploits have been too much for him in midweek. Klopp rotated the team completely for last weeks defeat at Swansea, resting almost every first teamer for their European semi final. Whether the first team turn out for both of these league games will probably depend on progression through to the Europa League final. As I write it’s 1-1 on aggregate.

The leading form defender is Antonio Valencia, who appears to have jumped ahead of Matteo Darmian and Tim Fosu-Mensah as Manchester United’s first choice right back. I’m not sure he’s guaranteed the start, but if he does line up in both games, he’s good for assists as well as clean sheet points.

The real risk would be to plump for Eden Hazard. Remember him? His three goals in his last two games, including the one that ended Spurs’ title hopes have earned him 24 points – almost a quarter of his entire season’s haul. Hazard has scored 233, 202 and 190 in his three Premier League seasons, yet he may not even pass 100 in this. He’s currently sat on 90. Games against Sunderland and Liverpool might help him past that total. He’s not guaranteed a start – he didn’t start against Spurs – but his performance in the second half changed the game. The risk is dare you part with £10.8 million for him?