Gameweek 1 results

August 11, 2015

1 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 57 57
2 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 52 52
3 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 51 51
4 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 44 44
4 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 44 44
4 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 44 44
7 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 43 43
7 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 43 43
9 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 42 42
10 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 41 41
11 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 40 40
12 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 39 39
13 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 38 38
13 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 38 38
15 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 37 37
15 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 37 37
15 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 37 37
18 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 36 36
18 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 36 36
18 What’s Up????? DEAN CRIPPS 36 36
21 SS3 FC Paul Murray 35 35
21 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 35 35
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 35 35
24 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 34 34
24 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 34 34
26 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 33 33
26 Below Par Paul Bentz 33 33
26 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 33 33
26 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 33 33
30 Ciderheads Darren Pope 32 32
30 Init fc Mustafa khan 32 32
32 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 30 30
33 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 29 29
33 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 29 29
33 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 29 29
36 Howayman Mark Bromham 26 26
36 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 26 26
38 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 25 25
39 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 23 23
40 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 22 22
41 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 21 21
42 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 19 19
43 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 11 11

Nice to see the Premier League is as predictable as ever. Arsenal second bottom. Leicester, Palace, West Ham and Villa occupying the European places. Long may it continue. Although it won’t will it? It’s the first week. No-one knows what’s about to happen. No amount of fantasy pre-planning would have envisaged Arsenal conceding two and scoring zero against the Hammers. Only five teams managed a clean sheet. It wasn’t a weekend for the defence. Thank goodness for Man City who posted the most convincing result. Their 3-0 defeat of West Brom established them at the top of the league, and gives Yaya Toure the first player of the week award. He and Vincent Kompany had sluggish seasons last time out, but their double figure scores for this week might get a few more managers interested in them again.

So – plenty of points to be had among the goal scorers and assist makers – but, only if you’d taken some wild-ish punts on the mid price market. Aside from Toure, the most expensive player occupying that first page of high scores is Philippe Coutinho at £8 million. Next highest scorers of the week Riyad Mahrez and Marc Albrighton won’t set you back any more than £5.5 million. Highest scoring striker Arouna Kone is a £5 million player and £4.5 million Liverpool youngster Joe Gomez posted the second best score for a defender behind Kompany.

A good selection of the lesser known new signings made their mark. As well as Gomez, Jordan Amavi and Rudy Gestede had promising debuts for Villa. As did Andre Ayew for Swansea, Dimitri Payet for West Ham and Georginio Wijnaldum for Newcastle. All should have slipped onto a few managers’ radars. Slipping off may be Petr Cech, who clearly thinks he’s still playing for Chelsea.

As things stood on Saturday night we had a Leicester fan sat at the top of the Bucket with a Sunderland fan at the bottom – which felt right. Apologies if anyone was led down a Mackem based garden path based on what I’d written in the first blog post. It was a double whammy of sorts for the Mindless Morons who didn’t even have any Sunderland players in their team, yet still propped everybody else up. They were one of many to invest in Thibaut Courtois. Pretty Schitty City stayed loyal to Mahrez and Jamie Vardy, and they returned 25 points. But its league newcomer, greensmeansbusiness, who leads the way and gets our first manager of the week award. Their 57 points came courtesy of a canny (or was it accidental?) use of their bench boost chip. An extra 13 points was added to their total courtesy of scoring performances by Jason Puncheon and Steven Fletcher.

Player of the week – Yaya Toure – 16 points. Making City the early pacesetters.

Bargains of the week – Marc Albrighton – 15 points. Ended last season strongly too.

Donkey of the week – Thibaut Courtois – -2 points. A chance for Asmir Begovic?

Goal of the week – Philippe Coutinho. Because it appears overhead kicks have been banned.

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