Gameweek 38 preview

May 11, 2012

It’s the final week, and you’ve still got yourselves a chance of winning a tenner, no matter how shit you are at playing this game. The May Manager of the Month prize is anyones for the taking. Rip Roaring Reds sit top of the monthly leader board with 70 points – at the bottom are ErectileFullFunction with 34 points. Voici….

1 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 70 70
2 none of the above Jonny Mabbutt 69 69
3 Cant think of a name mark molloy 66 66
4 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 65 65
5 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 60 60
6 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 56 56
7 DIMBETWEENERS dmitri wychrij 54 54
7 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 54 54
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 53 53
10 Running On Empty Mk3 Dave Heighington 52 52
11 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 52 52
12 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 51 51
13 Mustard Strike FC Arron Fellows 50 50
13 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 50 50
15 Overpaid Pillocks Ian Williams 50 50
16 SHADWELL TOWN Ed Carter 47 47
17 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 45
17 KAYS FC Tom Rogerson 45 45
19 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 43 43
20 Release The Hounds 4 Paul Mitchell 43 43
21 TheBellsAreRinging Damon Brown 41 41
22 magnificent fifteen stephen kennerson 40 40
23 Benson & Wedgies P Hawkins 39 39
24 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 36 36
25 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 35 35
25 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 35 35
27 ErectileFullfunction Alex Ritchie 34 34

You don’t have to consider future gameweeks – there aren’t any. Pick your team for this one week, based on the ten Sunday fixtures. It’s like a black ball game in snooker, closest to the bull in darts, and probably many other sporting analogies I can’t think of due to early teething and a sleepless night.

You could easily build a squad from the top seven Premier League teams. Start at the top and work your way down. Man City and Man United will play their strongest teams in easy games. There’s six players sorted already. Arsenal, Spurs and Newcastle have to go all out for 3rd and 4th. Toon players are still set cheaply enough to be able to afford them. I suspect Chelsea will rest players again in preparation for the Champions League final next weekend. Although Ramires, Terry, Meireles and Ivanovic will undoubtedly play, seeing as how they’re suspended for the big one. They’ve got Blackburn – there’s defo two clean sheets and a maybe a goal in that group of players. Everton will want to finish above Liverpool, and are a form team. Hibbert, Pienaar, Fellaini and Jelavic are high in the form player standings. There’s your team. Simple.

But, does anyone else think that QPR, with their abysmal away form, and large ex-City contingent, will sneak an unlikely draw, thus keeping them up, and handing the title to United? And for Spurs to flunk it under the pressure, Arsenal to lose to West Brom in Hodgson’s last game, and for Newcastle and Everton with their two free scoring strikers to play out a bore draw? And for all the goals and high scoring players of the week to come from teams with nothing to play for, like Norwich (Holt, Jackson, Hoolahan?) against Villa, or Wigan (Moses, Beausejour, Maloney?) against Wolves, or Liverpool (Carroll, Suarez, Gerrard?) against Swansea? It’s a possibility.

Next week – full season review, players of the season, goals of the season, managers of the season, prize money sorted, and then no more e-mails. Promise.






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