Gameweek 31 results, and 32 and 33 mini preview

April 4, 2012

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 56 1,715
2 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 53 1,656
3 none of the above Jonny Mabbutt 62 1,649
4 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 63 1,624
5 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 46 1,602
6 Overpaid Pillocks Ian Williams 64 1,590
7 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 40 1,578
8 Release The Hounds 4 Paul Mitchell 44 1,564
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 57 1,563
10 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 37 1,553
11 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 48 1,547
12 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 60 1,532
13 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 35 1,526
14 Mustard Strike FC Arron Fellows 37 1,506
15 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 63 1,503
16 KAYS FC Tom Rogerson 55 1,498
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 34 1,462
18 ErectileFullfunction Alex Ritchie 27 1,429
19 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 43 1,393
20 Benson & Wedgies P Hawkins 35 1,392
21 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 62 1,381
22 magnificent fifteen stephen kennerson 24 1,376
23 Cant think of a name mark molloy 50 1,340
24 TheBellsAreRinging Damon Brown 35 1,298
25 Running On Empty Mk3 Dave Heighington 54 1,219
26 DIMBETWEENERS dmitri wychrij 22 1,190
27 SHADWELL TOWN Ed Carter 61 1,152

There’s still no Keeganesque (or should that now be Manciniesque?) meltdown happening at Neil Madrid, as the league leaders maintain their 50 point cushion at the top of the table. The biggest scorers this week were the Overpaid Pillocks who managed 64 points. They narrowly defeated Crazylegs and win their second Manager of the Week gong.

Down at the bottom of the league, Shadwell continue their revival, narrowly missing out on the week award with a 61 point haul. However, this score is enough to win them the Manager of the Month award for March, holding off a late rally from Doing the ’91. Shadwell obviously picked their initial team with March in mind, as it’s full of form players from form teams, who up until the start of March weren’t having great seasons. Over the past few weeks their Arsenal defenders have scored most of their points. This week Fernando Torres came out to play. He only seems to play well when it’s sunny, and we’re expecting snow next week, so don’t go shuffling him into your team just yet. Add to this Phil Jagielka, with two successive clean sheets for Everton. There’s also Wayne Routledge, who has assisted and/or bonused in his last four matches for Swansea, and who is only really playing by virtue of Nathan Dyer’s suspension. They’ve got Ashley Young – back from injury, and back in the goals. And David De Gea – who finally looks like a keeper you could spend 18 million on. I’d love to think that all of this was foresight. Some kind of premonition – with the Buckets Cup in mind. Sod the rest of the season – if I play for one month – I’ll win myself £50. It isn’t – they still haven’t made a transfer all season, and still haven’t played their wildcard (ie – they gave up in August, a bit like Liverpool). If I don’t tell the manager he’s won the award, he’ll probably never know. 

The Buckets Cup reached its climax this week. And the winners of the competition are Rip Roaring Reds. They won the final against Uriah Rennie 2nd XI by 46 points to 37. It makes Rip Roaring Reds the highest prize money earners in the league so far this season, having already won a Manager of the Month prize. They’re just outside the top four, and could add to that total yet. Congratulations.

Notice how I’m combining a lot of these updates now, as fatherhood takes hold. The kid is currently off his tits on Infacol and milk, and asleep on the couch with my “White noise” app humming away in his earhole. So I can write this. It’s the busy Easter period, where two gameweeks come in very quick succession. There are matches on the 6th, 7th and 8th for gameweek 32. Followed by matches on the 9th 10th and 11th for gameweek 33. Week 34 is a reduced schedule due to the FA cup semis. Expect the teams that don’t play to make up a double match gameweek very soon. Check out gameweek 36!!!

The only thing I’m going to predict is that Papiss Cisse will score, and along with Rooney, Van Persie and Adebayor, make up the majority of manager’s front lines. And maybe even Fernando Torres. Liverpool will be bottom half by May, so ship Jose Enrique out now. I know most people have been hanging on to him because you all got him at bargain price back in August. A season that started well has petered out, just like Liverpool’s season. And City’s. Aguero has got a foot injury, allegedly caused by foot spray, and the rest of the team have gone mad. They’re conceding, and might have to throw Carlos Tevez in just to try to get them some goals. 

See you after Easter.

  • Player of the week – Branislav Ivanovic. Double scoring defender
  • Bargain of the week – Antolin Alcaraz. Still shit.
  • Donkey of the week – Jose Reina. Serves him right for looking at Perchinho.

Goal o’t weekend

Another player who might be coming into form at the right time, Adel Taarabt


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