Gameweek 16 results and a Chrimbo preview

December 20, 2011

  1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 48 876
2 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 59 873
3 Overpaid Pillocks Ian Williams 62 872
4 Release The Hounds 4 Paul Mitchell 52 863
5 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 63 859
6 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 56 851
7 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 59 836
8 none of the above Jonny Mabbutt 53 821
9 Mustard Strike FC Arron Fellows 38 788
10 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 48 778
11 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 54 773
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 47 768
13 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 44 768
14 ErectileFullfunction Alex Ritchie 45 764
15 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 47 760
16 KAYS FC Tom Rogerson 40 756
17 TheBellsAreRinging Damon Brown 50 750
18 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 54 745
19 Benson & Wedgies P Hawkins 54 737
20 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 62 717
21 magnificent fifteen stephen kennerson 35 712
22 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 57 698
23 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 59 677
24 Running On Empty Mk3 Dave Heighington 35 651
25 Cant think of a name mark molloy 51 646
26 DIMBETWEENERS dmitri wychrij 37 626
27 SHADWELL TOWN Ed Carter 34 605

Panza Grande won this week’s Manager of the Week award with 63 points. They’ve had a barren spell – but now Wayne Rooney has started scoring again – so have Panza Grande. They didn’t make the Van Persie swap. A decision which may pay off over the next couple of gameweeks. Rooney is rarely rested in busy periods with lots of games, even if he isn’t scoring, and Manchester United’s festive fixture list is very kind. Three of their next five matches are against the bottom three teams. They’ve lost Vidic, but are on a run of keeping clean sheets – and with a 4.4 million Jonny Evans deputising. Aswell has 5.2 million Chris Smalling nailing down the right back berth. Although Phil Jones’ cost has risen 1.2 million to 6.7 million since the season start, Fergface is now playing him regularly in midfield. So – he’s picking up clean sheet points – and always looks good for bonus, goals and assists. United are once again the go to team – and we all know how strong they can be in the second half of the season. Maybe this title race isn’t over yet.

City’s run of fixtures aren’t so kind, although a first clean sheet in weeks yesterday against Arsenal would have helped some fantasy teams clinging on to their defenders. The goals are still flying in. David Silva, after a dry spell by his standards, picked up 11 points yesterday for his man of the match performance.

Top scorer was Martin Skrtel. Liverpool now have the best defensive record in the Premiership. They’ve had two clean sheets on the spin, and would expect to repeat that against Wigan, Blackburn and maybe even Newcastle – their next three games. Liverpool are clinging on in the battle for third and fourth spot. Arsenal have improved vastly – and have  four very winnable games over Christmas and New Year. I predict Van Persie will get at least another five goals through this run of fixtures. Chelsea and Spurs face each other this Thursday. Chelsea are unpredictable. Clean sheets are rare, although this hasn’t stopped John Terry being the league’s top performing defender. Terry is chipping in with goals and lots of bonus scores. Sturridge and Mata have form. Less results like Wigan and more like City will be the order. Expect a bit of both. Spurs are starting to be hit by injuries. Lennon is out for a while. Bale is doubtful for the next game. Harry probably thinks he needs seven or eight more players. He could always just use the quality players he’s already got in reserve. We may see a scoring run from cheaper alternatives like Pavlyuchenko, Kranjcar, Pienaar and Sandro.

Stoke are the form team, and have closed the gap on the top seven to three points. Peter Crouch has some form – outscoring fellow England hopefuls Bent, Defoe, Carroll, Zamora and Wellbeck. Demba Ba still looks capable of scoring for Newcastle regardless of how they do defensively. Norwich always score, and Holt and Morison are definitely worth a punt. Michel Vorm kept another clean sheet. As did Ashley Williams, Neil Taylor and Steven Caulker – all for under 5 million. On present form, expect at least one more over Christmas. Fulham kept another clean sheet at the weekend aswell. Mark Schwarzer didn’t play, and will be out for four weeks. David Stockdale is a capable deputy, and picked up were Schwarzer left off.

Some teams are still best avoided. Bolton look done in. Only Ivan Klasnic looks capable of scoring. They’re more likely to have a man sent off than score any goals. And sometimes that man looks likely to be Ivan Klasnic. Bolton’s game with Blackburn tomorrow is as big a game as any other in the league this season. If one of these teams loses – it could be goodnight. I’d avoid Villa too. Do what Darren Bent did – go shopping. I’d love to say that Wigan’s mini revival will continue – but I don’t see it given their run of games. Everton simply aren’t scoring. And Wolves and West Brom look like teams whose names begin with ‘W’ – at the bottom of every list.

I have nothing constructive, witty or insightful to say about QPR’s team, or their players chances of improving your fantasy league position. Just avoid ’em. Why buy Clint Hill, when you can probably afford Jonny Evans?

The race is on for December Manager of the month. Lots of team are still in it at this stage – even barrel scrapers like Can’t Think of a Name, Pretty Schitty City, KAYS FC and Shoelace United have an outside chance. Overpaid Pillocks lead the way at the moment from Romeo’s-Honda-van. No doubt Romeo’s will tinker their way out of contention. The Pillocks have a squad full of form, and a steady transfer policy, but an injury strewn bench.

Two things to consider for the near, and near-ish future – a tube strike possibly postponing Boxing Day games – and the African Nations Cup. Potentially six weeks without Demba Ba. Ah shit.

Good luck to everyone. Brief updates will appear if I can lay off the sherry. Have a good Christmas.

  • Player of the week – Martin Skrtel. First time a former donkey has become player of the week.
  • Bargain of the week – Bryan Ruiz. Will improve. Great goal this weekend.
  • Donkey of the week – Jonathan Woodgate. Booked on 12 minutes. Gave away a penalty on 18 minutes. Subbed on 19 minutes.

Goal o’t weekend

Best turn the sound down. Take your pick, although I think Morrison’s is better. Notable mention for Bryan Ruiz. I love goals like this…..


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