Gameweek 5 results

September 20, 2011

1 Release The Hounds 4 Paul Mitchell 65 327
2 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 56 321
3 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 69 300
4 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 57 293
5 none of the above Jonny Mabbutt 38 284
6 KAYS FC Tom Rogerson 53 277
7 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 51 276
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 44 271
9 ErectileFullfunction Alex Ritchie 45 270
10 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 60 257
11 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 68 250
12 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 53 246
13 TheBellsAreRinging Damon Brown 49 245
14 Mustard Strike FC Arron Fellows 41 240
15 Overpaid Pillocks Ian Williams 47 240
16 Benson & Wedgies P Hawkins 42 237
17 magnificent fifteen stephen kennerson 51 237
18 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 33 235
19 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 21 234
20 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 36 212
21 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 37 210
22 Inter South Harrow Paul Bentz 28 204
23 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 53 203
24 DIMBETWEENERS dmitri wychrij 36 199
25 Running On Empty Mk3 Dave Heighington 27 193
26 SHADWELL TOWN Ed Carter 44 173
27 Cant think of a name mark molloy 15 157

A mad old week in which Arsenal conceded two own goals, Man City dropped two points, Chelsea missed two open goals (Torres’s was so bad it’s gone straight to the top of the worst open goal misses of all time  – Ronnie Rosentahl will be pleased) and Liverpool had two men sent off. Wayne Rooney added his name to the list of penalty missers – in style – it went out for a throw in (well, almost).

All of which meant that it would have been wise of you not to take too much notice of the gameweek 5 preview I posted here a few days ago. Most of the predictions I made were way off the mark. But who could have predicted the amount of top players and teams racking up the minus points.

Arsenal v Blackburn was a(n own) goal fest . Sunderland thumped Stoke. A result reflected in this weeks players of the week. Fulham unexpectedly pegged back City. Villa didn’t spank Newcastle. In fact it was quite the opposite. But for Shay Given (something I did predict) it would have been a Newcastle victory. Norwich beat Bolton. Spurs swept aside the nine men of the new Liverpool – who seem to have reverted to the old Liverpool pretty quickly. And Swansea did get their first goals of the season – only West Brom didn’t match them, and were played off the park in a 3-0 defeat.

Of course my previews are all a ruse to subliminally plant ideas in your fantasy league brain, which ultimately result in the abject failure of your team. Whilst I, ignoring my own advice, reap the rewards. It seems to be working OK so far given that Neil Madrid are the gameweek winners with 69 points.

Aguero came back in to good effect. Dzeko came back in to some effect. Nani, Rooney (despite the penalty miss) and Young all got their weekly points and bonuses. It’s still fairly predictable where the points are going to be scored each week. Anyone without three Man U players in their squad better look into the wildcard option. Now. And while you’re at it, squeeze in a couple of City players for good measure. It’s for your own good.

We have one more gameweek left before the September Manager of the Month is decided. There are at least eight teams in it.

  • Player of the week – Sebastian Larsson. Involved in three of the Sunderland goals.
  • Bargain of the week – Titus Bramble. Got a goal, as he occasionally does, bouncing off his big 50p head.
  • Donkey of the week – Martin Skrtel. Conceded four, then got his marching orders. Liverpool were worse than Arsenal this week, although it could quite easily have been another Gunner, but for the fact that they at least managed to score, and keep 11 men on the pitch.

Goal o’t week


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